Hail to England, by way of IFC.

Hello, dear reader! Welcome back to another fun filled blog post! So, I have some very exciting news to tell you about. Last Friday I was lucky enough to attend the NYC screening of "All Tommorrow's Parties" by director Jonathan Caouette. It is a collage of footage compiled by concert goers of the 'All Tommorrow's Parties' festival in the UK. The festival is curated by some of today's most amazing indie bands such as Belle and Sebastian, Sonic Youth, Portishead and features such bands as Patti Smith, Grinderman, Iggy and The Stooges, Mogwai, Slint, Grizzly Bear, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Gossip, Daniel Johnston and The Boredoms.

It is an amazing film mainly because of the close proximity of the fans to the bands. It is shot on an English vacation compound that houses all the bands, and from what I could gather, most of the fans as well. Which makes for some interesting, up close and personal interactions with the artist and audience. It literally was like a small, modern Woodstock, only with different drugs. The footage from back in the day when the English would arrive by bus to the compound and expunge on how bloody awesome the place was, only fed the psychedelic tinge the film held. I strongly urge you to seek out this gem (even if it's only on Netflix soon, there was only two days of screening. Which baffles me still! This is an important film and I expect it will be back very soon)!

Thursday night is another fun night of the game. We had a great metal night last week and this coming week promises to be just as fun.

Here's the trailer for All Tomorrow's Parties:

Now Playing:"Master of Puppets" by Metallica

So, dear reader, I have FINALLY gotten confirmation that I will soon be getting the raw footage for the game in the mail soon. That means the ball is rolling and we are another step closer to making this thing bigger than it is. Fingers and toes crossed.

The game has been 'pretty' well attended lately. We are grateful, but we need more teams out still.

Ever heard of love? A friend told me once at a very pivital time that:

Love is all you need, love is like oxygen, love is a many splendored thing. There is Radar love, Adhesive love, love on the rocks. Courtney Love, Mike Love. Tender love, and Modern love. A Whole Lotta Love.

But none higher than the J. Giles band's description: Love Stinks.

You're welcome. Glad I could hip you to that.

Here's proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GluCM_ggMvw

State of Love and Trust

Hi, dear reader,..I've missed you so, really I have. I'm sorry that I only blog when I am in the mood, but cardinal rules for me are:

1) NEVER schedule sex! Just takes the wind out of everyone, creates expectations, and needless pressure.

2)NEVER schedule blogging! Just takes the wind out of everyone, creates expectations, and needless pressure.

Ok, so tonight was poorly attended, BUT a very close game! Everything in it's right place, right people were there and I feel like things are a'brewin' again. We're not sure where everyone went after championships? Why did you guys think we were done? We are still rolling along like Aerosmith's train! Get back here!

So much to talk about, hmmm..lessee,..there was a row this week between Courtney and Ryan Adams, no suprise there. Two drama queens square off about who funded Ryans record (I'm inclined to think Ryan is correct and Universal did, but where theres smoke theres usually fire.)

Maryln Manson got the swine flu,...with the chemicals that guy has ingested throughout his career,..just another hang over.

Theres these old Hendrix demos that are going to be released soon. I understand that theres even a collaboration with 2-Pac! I'm telling you people, it's only a matter of time til the celebrity zombie uprising!

Apparently, Steven Tyler and Roger Daltry are going on tour with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra this upcoming holiday season. I hear the rider demands railings in front of the stage so no one falls into the crowd. What??

Zoltan Bathory of Five Finger Death Punch (yeah, never heard of 'em either) went missing after a gig in Vegas, prompting an all out search by the police and their fans (which apparently are legion) and was found on a casino rooftop surrounded by a shitload of small, empty bags and a couple of tired hookers. The tour will continue and thank God we still have SOMEONE out there that acts like a rockstar. How very Russell Hammond AND Superman of you, Zoltan.

Pearl Jam are apparently putting out a new album that promises to be poppier, punkier, and more awesome than the last few records that have come out that we never heard. I'm told Target are the only major retailer who will carry it. Thats fine with me. Target are kinda the perfect retailer for it honestly. They are a forward thinking company who take care of their employee's (My ex used to work for them, and I trust her opinion), but apparently the only other retailers who will carry it are grass-roots, mom and pop record store's. Go get 'em, boys. Maybe one day you truly will be the next Grateful Dead.

Me? It's a dog eat dog world and I'm wearing steak underwear. Lot's more to tell, but honestly, I'm tired and getting weary of typing.

Here are the winners tonight:

1st places: Three and a half chord trick (Dan)-530 pts

2nd place: Morressey aches for anal quivering (Anne and Logan)- 470 pts

3rd place: The band Stewart (Andrea and co.)- 420 pts

Haven't seen Andrea in a coon's age. Good job for joining in the third round!

OH, one more thing, I hear The Small Faces are re-uniting sans Rod Stewart. Thats ok, apparently you earn a pass with that kind of solo career, but I'm disappointed I gotta say. I love me some Rod Stewart AND some Small Faces.What would the Black Crowes be without them?? Eh,...here's a video if you don't know what I mean.

Been a long time, Been a long time, Been a long lonely,...eh,..you know the rest...

Actually, that's not true. I'm trying to get all zen (like Plant in 1988) and NOT be lonely, but at the same time, NOT rely on anyone to make me feel that way. Here's the deal folks, I'm single for the first time in 8 years!

You know what? It's feeling pretty good,...at the moment.

The only reason I brought this up is because you all saw me take off from Fontana's Thursday night with a person totally alien to me and YOU, and we had a date. She's cool, her names' Gretchen and she's funny and I like her but ultimately, as cool as she was, just a date and a first one at that. (keep ya posted.)

DISCLAIMER: Gretch, if you are reading this, you so totally rule ,cute, funny, engaging but you didn't answer my PM on FB, (when I told you I totally had a great time last night,...'member??..no??) so, I'm ok with this post. Get back to me, and I'll so take it down. It's not a "big-get-even"..lyric test, anyone get it??)

Eh,.she's cool, she'll prolly laugh,.......Guys,..?? Guys?? I so suck..

Aaaanyway...Sorry to bring my personal life front and center, but that's the way it is (to quote a certain recent dead person) and I'm all about quotes from recently deceased dead folk these days?! My friend Richard swears it's a zombie uprising, and I'm almost inclined to agree! I also, have to do this to keep records and sane. It's only history, folks!

WINNERS LAST NIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE- THREE DOG ARMY OF NIGHT (WHERE ARE THE SCHMOO'S!!??)- 530PTS

2ND PLACE- QUEEF STROCKINOFF- -480PTS

3RD PLACE- ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL'S STEROID DEALER- 470 PTS


There's no video tonight folks, sorry, scroll down and check out the SCORES of video I've already posted that anyone who actually reads this blog has seen. If not, you are in for many treats!

XOXOX,...and all that...

Championship night!

SO,...tonight was incredible. I'm still reeling from all the support I got from our regulars about filming the promo video for getting SMARTASS on TV. It's SO Wayne's World, (except for the part where I'm not sleeping with a hot Asian rockstar,...and thats ok, I guess. I'd just settle for a hot Asian....KIDDING,...no, but call me.)

I just pray I kept my cred. I interviewed the people who have supported and they stood by me and thats worth it's weight in gold to me. I also, during an interview, got an audition with The Morgan's.

(You know, Anne Morgan's band. What, you never heard of Anne Morgan?? Dude, keep up. Only the next big thing!)

Yeah,...anyway, I STILL had to direct her to Lester Bangs, but thats part of the point. Sharing information about the craft/biz/brain is what it's all about. It's possible you could see your humble host performing on stage again. One of the best parts is the other guitarist plays a Les Paul Jr too.

ANYWAY, I lied. Next week I will officially announce the big winners, but since your here, I'm tipsy, and you are paying attention, here are the champions of the first annual SMARTASS R&R trivia championship! These include two weeks of scores and a 200 point headstart for qualifying:

-HONORABLE MENTIONS:

-PENICORN-830pts

-THE NEW ORGINAL'S-690 pts

-FELTCHING WITH JESUS (Really? Going to Hell..)- 770pts

3RD PLACE- ...ELEVEN!- 1020 PTS

2ND PLACE- FOUR MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS- 1130 PTS

AND THE FIRST PLACE WINNER, THE KING OF ROCK AND ROLL TRIVIA AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED IN ALL OF NYC:

1ST PLACE- PETE 1240pts!!

(Who knew a guy just named Pete, who mostly plays alone, would sweep this thing)?

There will be prizes for all who placed and they will be announced next week officially at the next SMARTASS game. Maybe even some news about our next move to world domination! Fingers crossed...

SO,..heres the weekly video. I asked my buddy Dave his fav 80's band when he was most likely as drunk as I was and he said Adam & The Ants, so thats good enough for me. I actually like the mix of Colonial and Native American. What the fuck was he trying to say? I know they worked together against us, but,...thats just too much info input. Fuck it, I still bob along anyway and now you can tooo!

1st Championship round was,...

Ermmm,...not as well attended as I'd hoped. And thats ok. It just means that some of you are more competitive than others. It only works to your advantage!

(I am going to call one person out though, and I think she's the shit anyway, Anne you hung in and did well, just let me heap praise on you for that next time. Just sayin'..)

Here are the leaders so far. They are qualifiers, and will start next weeks end all be all, with +200pts as well as what they ended with tonight. (someone commenting about this would be very telling, otherwise, whats the point of posting this?)

QUALIFIERS:

-...Eleven
-The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
-The New Orginal's
-Pete
-Two Man Army Of Darkness

WINNERS:
-1ST PLACE-PETE: 560PTS
-2ND PLACE-THE NEW ORGINAL'S: 490PTS
-3RD PLACE-TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS: 480PTS

Here's a Big Star performance from 1994-3? with half of The Posies, enjoy:

The first annuall championship Smartass rock and roll trivia,...thingie..

Wow,...just wow. It's awesome to see so many people coming out to play! I usually drone on about some rock and roll topic, trying desperately to be Lester Bangs, but not tonight. We go for the throat tonight. Here are the qualifying teams for next weeks championship, (these teams, in that they showed up two weeks running to compete, will start with 200 points! You are encouraged to bring new teams, they are still eligible to win!)

TONIGHTS WINNERS:

1st:PETE: 570 pts
2nd: ...Eleven: 560 pts
3rd: Two Man Army of Darkness: 550 1/2 pts

Additional teams that qualified:

-Mouthful Of Menstruation
-Soft Underbelly
-That was honestly not me at the Juliet Lewis Show
-Ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous Rick Danko!
-The flying clams & the shucker
-Michael Jackson's General Discoloration
-The New Originals
-Involuntary Wet T-shirt contest (It was raining that day)
-Aqua Urban Culture

Everyone has been spitting out the r&r knowledge! It will not be overlooked! See you guys next week for the first round of finals!

Here's one of the best bands you may or may not have ever heard of. They are called Five-Eight and they've been playing nationwide and especially in the south-east for YEARS! They used to crash on my/my roommates couch coming up! Check ME out!)

If you like the Replacements, Husker Du, Big Star, and any other Athens band, I couldn't think of another Georgia band(including R.E.M.) that you'd love more than this band. Early 90's in tha ATL when shit was happening, worth something, and music was not as much a product as it is now:

See you next Wednesday (actually, Thursday)...

Whooo,...damn that Brendan (Fontana's barkeep.) Not that I don't usually blog a little tipsy, just tonight I was on a roll and he noticed. Easy, killer!

Ok, so, Michael Jackson died today. Who saw THAT one coming?? Not me. We don't really know a lot about this guy, ironically. I mean, he IS/WAS one of the biggest stars ever. I remember, in my WAY younger days, seeing the making of 'Thriller' (mostly because John Landis directed, who is a baddass) and trying to learn the dance.

I sucked. Michael Peters is a sadist. (10 pts if you know who he is, I do and guess what? I am as straight as they come, just married to a dancer for 7 years and I pay attention.)

But, I'm honestly shocked this hasn't happend before. Most huge pop stars die by 27, but no, no. Mike had something to live for. Be it the kids, his fame, or that very last tour he was preping for. That tour, BTW, of the U.K. anyway, was already sold out weeks, maybe months ago.

He WAS a talented performer. "Electrifying!" to quote Little Richard about Mike's already dead former Father-in-law. (To soon?)

AND he could AFFORD to drag along all the baggage from his kidhood and subsequent stardom. And, it was legion. I'm not tearing him down. I know those kids had a harder life than most. And child performers in general, regardless of fame do. Those of you who know me, know that I can speak from experience on THAT one. No judgement here, BTW. Trust me.

So, anyway, I salute you sir. AND to put the age old flyover-that-guy-HAS-to-be-gay to bed, I know you had a tough time of it and I sympathize. It's hard to discern I know( DId you know that MJ wrote that Diana Ross hit 'Muscles'?... Eh, so what,..Maybe he was just projecting a wish?)

There are reasons for his quirks and most of us have always known it, (including, I suspect, some judges. Someone had to say it..)

Rest in peace, be that ultimate Simon Cowell in the sky, but follow up on it.
We're going to hell in a handbasket in every way, and since you were so important; when you have that coveted meeting with the almighty, ask him if we can go back to the early 80's and start all over as far as direction in pop goes. Maybe you, at this point, after all of life's questions have been answered, can save us from Katy Perry. Someone has to..

NEXT WEEK, THE FIRST ROUND OF THE FIRST ANNUAL SMARTASS'S BADASS ROCK AND ROLL FACT HEADSPILL! What is that you may ask? We are having a tournament, it's a three week affair. Your team (up to 10!) must be there every week to win! Prizes TBA, but we promise they will be worth it! Be there next week for qualify!

THE WINNERS TONIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE: THE NEW ORIGINALS- 580pts (Also, winners of the two shot rounds!)

2ND PLACE- THE CHERRY FLAVOURED SCHMOOS- 530PTS

3RD PLACE- ELEVEN (Or, we go too)- 520PTS

Congrats all! Fun night,...maybe to fun for me, sorry, try to stay more focused next time!

Here's is my favorite Michael Jackson performance ever. We all will miss him, All cruel jokes aside, he was a master that no one will ever forget. A true rockstar. Some have said that Kurt was the last rockstar,...I think that's only because we thought Mike would last forever. I wish he had. RIP Michael Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett!

It's astounding,...time is fleeting..

Last night was a great night, pretty crowded. Hope everyone had a great night. I'm so damb happy we moved to Fontana's. It's been pretty awesome, I gotta say.

No big news on the show, still waiting a few people to sign off on some things and equipment, etc. But it's still going.

I'm not in a very wordy mood tonight, so I'm just gonna post the winners and hope for the best.

1ST PLACE- PETE! 650 PTS

2ND PLACE- YO BITCHES 530 PTS

3RD PLACE- TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS 530 PTS (Tiebreakers)

Here's some of T.V. On The Radio's set from Bonnaroo! Enjoy!

Dude,...I have NO idea whats going on..

So, heresa deal, the score sheet for this weeks game is still in the office of Fontana's, (along with my tools for trivia because I had to dash out for the Fleetwood Mac show at MSG and they wouldn't have let me in that musical keep with anything remotely resembling recording equipment) therefore, in my drunken state I cannot remember the winners this week. I'll post 'em later.

Not that YOU care. I'd be shocked and amazed if anyone even read this blog, so instead, here is a brief review of said show, a funny pic of Phil Spectors hair and some funny commentaries.

THE REVIEW:

I got to the show late. I heard what I thought was piped in elevator music on the way in, (only because at this point The Mac IS elevator music as far as any of these brainless wonders who are our rock fans.)

It sounded like elevator music only because they sound SO perfect live. Walked right into a flawless mini-acoustic set by Buckingham and Nicks of "Landslide" and "Never Going Back Again", which was VERY dramatically performed by the Lynds'.

I WILL say though, his solo performances were the best and mostly emotional.

Great, but he never let you forget that he was the (most likley) highest paid member of that band at this time. OR not. Either way, he was more of an actor than musican thoughout the whole show. Stevie was,..well, Stevie, shawls, shadows, etc. I love me some Stevie, don't get me wrong, but after a second round at MSG on this "Hits" tour, you could tell they were just there for the paycheck. They even covered 'Stand Back' to the delight of the 500 Stevies who were there. The crowd was mostly 45+. Raised on an apathetic diet of 70's AOR, and maybe the last chance they would have gotten to see this band again.

All in all, seeing this band for the first, and I suspect the last time, I give them an 8 outta 10. That's saying something for a band of that stature.

Ok, here's a little funny:


Nice,...

"You're no one in rock and roll until you've fought with me, or slept with Wynonna Ryder!"- Courtney Love..."OR, Michael Stipe!"-Todd Satterfield

I wonder of that included Kurt?? Probably not, there's no way that harpy would have allowed that lil' coupling. ALTHOUGH, word has it she tried to encourage Kurt to explore his cross-dressing fetish with one Michael Stipe. That's just what I heard, but from reliable snitches. But, hell, Mike Stipe has ALWAYS been a bit of a star-fucker in his own right. From Paul Westerberg to KRS-One to Thom Yorke. Most of these folks have worked with REM or are friends of theirs and it's no secret Mikes' gay.

I've questioned his intentions since that scene in 'Meeting People Is Easy' when after a trying tour schedule, a road weary Thom Yorke is protected from menacing, over-zealous security goons who didn't recognize the LEAD SINGER of the headlining band as he went up to the green room after his show. Stipe was there, all "HEY, he's the lead singer, BACK OFF!" protecting his lil' buddy Thom.

This is complete bullshit. Back off, Mike. YOU'RE outta line! The look on Yorke's face said it all. A mix of unease and apathy (a stretch for Yorke.)

Here's why:

Forget the fact that pre-Radiohead band, "On A Friday", had been touring Europe for years before even BECOMING Radiohead, (that was right around the time 'True Stories' came out,...hmmm?) OR that 'Creep' was a HUGE hit and the ensuing tour of the U.S. should have prepared Thom & Co. for what they could have expected, even after releasing ANOTHER huge album (The Bends) and touring the U.S. again.

After all that hype and hoopla, Big Daddy Stipe has to step in and defend Thom to security goons on a Grammy tour (O.K. Computer??)

I doubt it.

So after all that ranting, my point is (and I DO have one), Mike Stipe is a star-fucker,...almost. I'm know Thom is straight and married and had no interest in going all Bowie and Jagger with Mr.This-One-Goes-Out-To-The-One-I-Love. After all that dues earning on Thom's part, I'm SURE he was quite capable of defending his stardom/vanity. I mean, really, all he had to do was start dancing like he does onstage! Have you SEEN him thrashing around to "Idioteque" off 'Kid A" onstage? He could give any U.F.C. goon a run for his money just by grooving to his own bump!

KRS-One on the other hand? Oh,Stipe and he TOTALLY fucked....
(Disclaimer: Not really, KRS would have me shot. You know how the hippity-hop community hates snitches.)

Tonight's big winners were:

1ST PLACE: TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS-540 PTS

2ND PLACE: DISASTER UNR.-530 PTS

3RD PLACE: ELEVEN-520 PTS

Thats right ladies and germs, all seperated by 10 pts a piece. Well done, guys.

Here's proof of what I was talking about before..

Well,....

...not a 'phenomenal' turn-out tonight (regardless of my pleadings off Facebook) but good enough to garner a 'pilot'. That means NBC is interested, they will spend a bit of money based on they're ideas of what the show should be, and decide from there. We'll see. They were very nice and fun and enthusiastic. Means a lot and I feel satisfied (unlike Westerberg) that the night was a success.

That mean come next week to get the pure stuff, (lookin' at YOU Jersey!) because we may be made safe for network when you see us en masse. And it includes the Jersey market, so THERE all you high school peeps who beat me up/shit on me/didn't have respect because i didn't attend reunions,....Oh,...sorry,

That means no cussing and much less snarky. OR not,...but I digress...I'm told via email, that we will finaly have a story about us in AMNY tomorrow. So, if you are heading to the subway in the morning, (something I RARELY do anymore) pick up a copy and let me know if they are on the level or not!

The winners tonight were:

1ST PLACE- The CHERRY FLAVOURED SCHMOO'S (Surprise there...)

2ND PLACE- TEAM ANVIL ( The team from NBC, and they won it FAIR AND SQUARE!)

3RD PLACE- "I'M A DOCTOR, JIM!"

Ok, here's an awesome appearance of an awesome band on the JOAN RIVER'S show from '87!! Check it out!

BTW, if you read this blog, give a shout out so I can gauge the awesome peeps who frequent this!!

Now playing Big Time by Peter Gabriel

So, I've been re-reading "Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung" which is a collection of album reviews and stories about rock and roll. It's just so great and so smartly written. The guy makes no bones about the fact that he wrote on drugs, and it reads like that, but in a very intelligent way.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman played him briefly in 'Almost Famous'. He told a young William Miller, "You know I used to take speed,...a little cough syrup, and just stay up all night writing, just to fucking write."

Thats how it reads too.

I highly recommend it. (Barnes and Noble usually has a copy laying around.) GO GET IT! I suggest starting with the story of The Clash, then move on to the re-telling of the song Maggie May. Both are side splitting.

Tomorrows a BIG day for the game. I can't say too much because I don't want to jinx it, but all will be explained next entry. I swear. Just send me some extra good vibes and luck!

THE WINNERS TONIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE- WE LOVE PIZZA-500 PTS (Way to go guys, your first win!)

2ND PLACE- TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS

3RD PLACE- THE STUFF (Alex Tween of The Forms, my favorite band, and Jen Carlson of Gothamist.com, my favorite local news blog)

Here's a clip of a very underrated band from the 80's that is dear to my heart performing a kick ass hit of theirs live.

Wow, let's get behind this green thing!

Tonight was stellar! We had a shit-ton of new first timers who really enjoyed the game and that was cool. We like that energy. High scorers too! Almost everybody wins!

Some SMARTASS news, and there is some..

1. We will be in AM NY on MAY 29th. That's what I was told. Maybe the most read newspaper of strap-hangers in NYC.

2. Fingers crossed, I was contacted by a producer of NY Non-Stop, an N.B.C. owned local TV news station, and we were asked if we wanted to do a piece for the channel. That means a 2 minute (or so) spot that will run for a day, all day. This is very cool. TV exposure is a great thing, even for cable....(Did I say that out loud?) No, really, I'm way happy about it and can't wait!

Here are the winners tonight:

1. TWO MAN ARMY OF TWILIGHT-410 PTS

2. THE SOLO SCHMOO-380 PTS

3. HAIRBO-360 PTS

I asked a few questions about Van Halen this week (did you know it was Davd Lee Roth who thought they should name the band 'Van Halen'?) so here is a brief history of the band in it's early stages. Pay attention.

Uhhh, huh!

Hi, so yeah, tomorrow morning I will be (I'm told) interviewed in AM NY about SMARTASS. This is big deal because roughly 3 million subway riders read this NYC rag daily.

That's the population of Atlanta circa. 1996.

That's quite a few people. This is exciting, to me anyway.

Tonight's game was again, fun, but not crowded by any means. No big. The club continues to support and more importantly, continues to provide FREE Rockets pizza. No one is complaining. Honestly, I think the draw is the free grub, but everyone seems to be having a great time so I'm not going to bitch, as opposed to usual.

The winners tonight were:

(TECHNICAL WIN: JASPER-310PTS)

1ST PLACE: TEAM ATLANTIS-290 PTS

2ND PLACE: WE HATE ANCHOVIES, ASPARAGUS & PEAS-250 PTS

3RD PLACE: WE LOVE PIZZA-200 PTS

Congrats all!

Here's some old school awesome for ya!

Hey, look,...The Mat's played to 5 people sometimes too!

...and they still handed in stellar shows.

Look, I know it's NYC, I know you have things to do, I know sometimes Lyndsay Lohan shows up and you just HAVE to see what she does. Or not.

Not to make fun. NO ONE would ever cop to that.

Shit, what am I trying to say? Oh yeah,...come out to SMARTASS. I know I get like this after less than crowded shows, and I really don't wanna come off like the cheerleaders in Fast Times (look it up), but a lot of work goes into making this thing work and it'd be great to see some of you. /end of rant.

WINNERS TONIGHT:

1st place- Omega Woman-160 points
2nd- I've Forgotten Everything-120points


There was no third place......(sigh).

In the meantime, heres some classic memories for anyone who remembers when we had something to be excited about.

You have to believe it's getting better!

Yeah,....that's me being positive. I THINK it's also a Beatles song as well?...Hmm,..

Tonight was a better turn out for Smartass at Fontana's, which made me look a little better than last week. It's always telling when the bartender asks you how many people you have coming to the game, after telling you all his regulars aren't coming. Luckily, he's mad cool. Jasper would have placed 3rd tonight if he didn't work there and big ups to Team Win who joined in the last round and kicked ass. See ya next week ladies!

TONIGHT'S WINNERS WERE:

1st place- Duo Schmoo's: 490 points

2nd- Fuck Face: 230 points

3rd- We Luv Pizza: 220 points

And now, the greatest band who ever lived doing "Mabelline" by Chuck Berry. Check out YouTube for some awesome clips of this same show!

You take the good with the GREAT!

Tonight was a bit slow, and I did an AWESOME quiz for tonight too. So it goes. I know everyone can't always make it out every time, but the energy is so much better and so much more fun with a lot of people.

BUT, thats cool, because when I got home, there was an email interview from Lauren at amNY who is doing an article about trivia nights in NYC in my gmail. So, probably lots more people next week!

Does anyone read this blog? If you do, do me a favor and leave a comment so I can judge sorta what the readership is, if any. That'd be good to know too. That way I could start blogging about how awesome David Lee Roth's solo career was, and not get NEAR as much shit for it.

Did I say that out loud?


The winner tonight was: Team NAME with 230 points.

Here's a video of Nina Hagen covering The Sweet's 'Ballroom Blitz' in 1985 before it was cool to like that song.

Great night last night!

So things are going great at Fontana's. ALTHOUGH, I want to send some good vibes out to Jasper (the talent booker who got me the gig there) as his father this week had a spot of trouble and had to go to the hospital. He's doing well now though, apparently, so thats good. We hope he makes a full recovery.

I also want to send a shout-out to our new Thursday night bartender, Brendan. He knows his rock trivia and has a great time with us. He's a super nice guy too. WE LOVE BRENDAN!

Last nights winners were:

1st place- The Cherry Flavored Shmoo's (surprise there!)-410 points
2nd place:Carsten cut his asshole on a shit diamond (Hmm,...)-360 points
3rd place:The Mothers of the Housing Authority (Justin and Lena!)-330 points

Good times, would love to see more of you next week. (Lookin' at YOU, Cantor)

Remember, happy hour for the first hour, and FREE pizza! Dinner AND a show for nothin'!

Here's an interview with Stevie Nicks when she was on blow in the 80's. Not sure if it will auto launch, but if not just paste this into a window.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuPCUMoDc6M

3rd week and going strong!

Hey all! Tonight wasn't that well attended but was totally fun! Its great sometimes when just a few people, but the right people, show up and compete. I feel more comfortable throwing in jokes and letting, what little, hair I have, down. The bouncer outside of Fontana's tonight pulled me aside (not a small caucasian man, which had me clearly a lil' nervous) and told me a had great radio voice and that I was great at what I did. This made me proud and took me aback. I used to be sorta conceited about my songwriting ability, but I've had much more recognition for my trivia hosting abilities. As Vonnegut said, "So it goes."

That always makes me feel good. To be good at anything, and get props for it, is a strange thing. You don't notice it, others do.

So, next week, after trivia, I am going to Joe's Pub to see Bob Mould. Who kicks ass! I am also reading Jim Walsh's Replacements bio "All Over But The Shouting". So far, into chapter one, but if you are as big a 'Mats fan as I am, you should jet on over to Barnes and Noble and pick that thing up. If you are cool enough to get the 'Mats that is. Minneapolis is a place I should visit at some point,...in the SUMMER! If you know me, you know I am a huge Prince fan too, and this only makes it more tempting. However, it would be a let down to go and not see Paisley Park in it's entirety.....Aaaaand, I'm babbling.

WINNERS tonight:

Jasper (Fontana's head honcho and my saving grace) TECHNICALLY won with a staggering 320 points. But since he works there, no bar tab for him.

1st: Carstens is Cheating-250 pts

2nd: These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For (awesome name)-220 pts

3: To Hell With Poverty-190pts

Prizes BTW are a $30 bar tab for 1st place, $20 for second, and $10 for third. Which doesn't seem like much, but considering we feed you FREE pizza and you get to hang with Brendan, the nicest bartender I've ever worked with (who will help you out with answers if he likes you), you could do a lot worse on Thursdays 7-9.

Get there next Thursday!

Here's The Plasmatics for no real discernible reason other than they kicks ass.

Come out this Thursday and a video by my friend Lydia Brownfield

Hey all, come out to Fontana's Thursday night for SMARTASS rock trivia. There is happy hour for the first hour and apparently the bar is springin' for some FREE pizza! Dinner and a show for WAY cheap! You can't beat it with a scarf covered mic stand.

This is a song about our friend Prentiss who is fighting breast cancer, successfully I'm told, down in Houston this next month. Prentiss is a photographer I went to school with at Portfolio Center, she is the closest thing to a sister I have, next to Lydia, and I love them very much and am sending awesome vibes out to Prentiss for her brave struggle. She never gets down and is one of the most positive people I have ever met. She is my heroine and I pray she beats this thing and stays around for a long while.

I'm sure she will.

This is a song Lydia wrote for her and it's awesome.

We're BACK!

Quick note to let you know SMARTASS is back on! Thursday nights at Fontana's in the LES form 7-9pm, come compete for bar tabs! If anyone is interested in guest DJing, do let me know! More later!

Smartass on hiatus for now.

Yes, I overstepped, as I am wont to do from time to time. After some much needed time away from NYC (a whole MONTH), the game was annexed to other more available hosts by the club.

At least they agreed not to use the name. Still sorta stings after working hard for a couple of years to build the game. It's fine though, breaks in routine are good.

AND I'm able to make a little more cash now doing what, I apparently, do well.

I hopefully, will return to the rock and roll trivia soon in a bigger and better way. Until then I wish my successors much luck and success. I still host games in Midtown at Mercury Bar on Sundays at 8pm, The Hill in Murray Hill on Mondays at 7pm, Joshua Tree bar on Tuesdays at 8pm, and soon at Buffalo Wild Wings in Brooklyn on Wednesdays for The National Trivia Assoc. (nationaltrivia.com)

Come on out some night, it's a good time too! Will let all 3 of you loyal readers know when Smartass returns! And thanks!!!

I'll be back this week!

Hi, I've been on "temporary hiatus", which is what most bands call it when they are tired and fed up and feeling lazy and unproductive. 

Not "hospitalized due to exhaustion", which is what they call it when one of them has a drug overdose. 

I will be back at Piano's next Monday night after a month off so get them brains and livers up to game weight!

Til then, here is a video of Eric Violette, who is the lead singer of the Free Credit Report.com band, and the proof that reality is a whole lot weirder than fiction. Enjoy. (Yes, he wrote this.)