Kanye on SNL

Are you FUCKING kidding me??! Why does ANYONE in the realm of music put up with this shit??? Forget that it isn't rock and roll, forget that it's a blatant rip of of Bjork...shit, forget he has ZERO talent.

Sad fact is, that man has NO talent. Nothing. Not a producer, not a performer, not a rapper. Nothing hip-hop or rock here folks. Just move along.

Fuck you Lorne Michaels, just fuck you.






(BTW, how the fuck do you spell your first name anyway)?!

Read the post below first, as this is a PS (that means post-script)

This is when eMpTVee was last relevant, when they used to cover important bands and went to shows to talk to fans.

I like mine scrambled...with goat cheddar.

I've been to Stinky in Brooklyn way too much lately. (GO, they have the best cheeses in the world, we had an amazing French Taleggio this week from there that had a name that, I swear, was ALMOST pronounced 'Tom Cruise', but is,..oh, hell just ask for the Tom Cruise, they'll know). Shit...this has fuck all to do with trivia or rock.

I'm 'blogging' again. I swore I wouldn't do that. But, DO go to Stinky, Patrick the owner is an amazingly sweet person.

The winners tonight were:

"I WAN'T EGGS" (Named after what some fighter said after being given smelling salts after being knocked out by Muhammed Ali. They also tied twice and won both times. Congrats.)

And here is a true rock and roll moment. Westerberg being serious (for once) with an amazing performance of my fav 'Mats song 'Answering Machine'. Cheers!

Congradulations Schmoo's and...Steve Perry?

I say that because The Schmoo's swept the game tonight..(no surprise there). I also say that because one of the questions tonight was about the fact that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing'', this week, was announced as the most downloaded track on iTunes. Look it up, I'm also too lazy to provide a link (besides, that's just a lame blogger thing and I'm not a lame blogger. I expect you to explore this thing on your own so you'll find something out for yourselves, but I digress).

The best info I could pull up was that the song was written by Cain (Jonathan, keys) "P" (I assume that means Steve PERRY, get back to that later) and "S" (meaning Neil SCHON, guitarist and founder).

All amazing musician's in their own rights, but, as I understand, being a musician of many years myself, that the dollars and cents of writing that song goes to Steve Perry because if you write the lyrics and melody, you wrote that song....Which I, personally, feel is bull-SHEEIAT! I mean, sure, there was a lot that went into coming up with those great lyrics and the melody we all love so much, but, there was also a keyboardist or guitarist who ORIGINALLY came up with the riff that would eventually become that song and I feel THEY should get the most residuals for the effort. Would Steve Perry have ever written those goodies without being given the music first??

I think not. Knowing what I know.

So, congrats to the folks, all of them, that give us these gifts, but consider that theres prolly a lonely guitarist in a bedrooom writing the next "Don't Stop Believing'" and he will prolly have to not only eat a ton of Ramen before it becomes a hit, but will never get the correct props on the innernets for having crafted such a brilliant song.

Eh...I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

/end of rant.

The Great Rock and Roll Swindle

So , there it is. You guys thought it didn't exsist? Well, some of you know the difference now, yeah?. SEE this film if you don't know anything about the music biz. It will teach you all!

So, GREAT crowd tonight, given it WAS a holiday night (even though I don't think there were to many vets from wars) everyone is in a better mood these days,...I only wonder why. Hmm, beeecuase we have a REAL president?? Ooopps, there I go getting all political again. It's only,..beenaweeksincewegotarealpresident,....damn,..I'll stop..

The Cherry Flavored Schmoos ruled the roost again tonight, like always. I'm actually surprised they haven't gone on to form their own higher advanced game,...that I would lose.

The scores:

ROUND 1: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS
ROUND 2: TEAM VLADMIR
ROUND 3: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

I REALLY appreciate everyone showing up tonight. Makes me think the night would be more popular if it was on a night that didn't require you be in bed before 10pm.

Been away for awhile,..here's some news.

So, clearly, I'm not one to blog so much. And thats ok. We all have a life. Sometimes that life takes priority over certain things, like this blog. So, here's whats up"

- SMARTASS has been going strong the whole time and we pleased as punch.
- Conrad is no longer with us as of this week. He is moving on and we wish him well.
- The new co-host, AC/Lecy has been rocking it hardcore AND old school for the past couple of weeks and everyone is happier for it.
- I will be trying my best to get more back into music as a participant and less as a by-stander. Look for new stuff I'll be involved in with my friend Lydia Brownfield. Google her, she's awesome.
- I have not quit smoking,...contrary to popular belief. Actually, no one would believe that anyway,..so..

There's been new life infused into SMARTASS, so come out next Monday night to Piano's upstairs at 8pm and see the new deal.

Todd

FINALLY! I hope this is true!

According to a post on The Velvet Rope.com (my old and constant hangout) R.E.M. is coming out with a new rekkid in April that harkens back to their earlier days when "Emo" wasn't a genre but if it was,it meant you were in a band from Athens and you were actually capeable of putting your songs to tape and no Pro-Tools tricks. OR, that you were "talented". Does anyone remember talent?

Whatever, I'm just way amped about a new R.E.M. record and especially if it's a departure from the crap they've been phoning in since Bill Berry left. Yeah, yeah, I know, they've been more 'experimental'. Whatever, leave that shit to Thom and Jonny. I heard comparisons to Let's Active and Guadalcanal Diary, SOLD!

BTW, kids, look those two bands up, it's worth it! BTW, NPR.org has this SXSW show on their media player, look for it, I'm listening right now and it's pretty damn good.

WINNERS THIS WEEK WERE:

ROUNDS 1,2,3- THE UNHOLY SCHMOOS
4. (UPSETTING THE SWEEP) TEAM SHOOP

Back to the show!

When you're having more than one!

The winners this week were: The Unholy Schmoos

Swept the night. Try and beat 'em. I dare ya!

An open letter to Mick Jagger by my friend Meli Georgiades OR Hey Man, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction Either

Oh Mick-

I’m all for sex. Really, I am.

But I do have a problem with guys who use their music to get laid and then lie about it. It’s a matter of artistic integrity….

And that’s why I have a bone to pick with you Mr. Mick Jagger. Yes, I have a problem with you and the song that brought you, a huge British rock star, to the top of the American charts as well. You know what I’m talking about- “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.”

You have always acted like that song is an attack on the status quo, with references to sex, of course, but you always highlight the so-called anti-commercialism verses as just as important. A lovely little social commentary isn’t it…

Fess up. We all know what you were really trying to say to the American chicks. I would put it as something like this: “I’m not getting enough. Please help!” Do you really expect us to believe that in 1965 as a British rock star with four American tours under your belt you were really having any problems getting that belt off? In 1965 no less- American girls were giving it up gladly, and to you- gratefully.

Here’s the dead giveaway: You changed a line in the third chorus from “I can’t get no satisfaction” to “I can’t get no [?]” I’ve always thought that lyric was “I can’t get no girly action” and read that its actually “girl with action” or “girl reaction”. It’s the most telling lyric of the song however you hear it because it’s the only line that no one would really believe. Dare I call it a blatant lie?

But when I looked up the lyrics on the official Rolling Stones website, that lyric was mysteriously missing. Why wouldn’t you include it? Are you hiding it from us? We have ears; that’s why we love you in the first place.

Your song reminds me of the gimmick that some assholes use to get laid- the one where they pretend to be gay, so they can play to a girls ego and say “Oh baby- you’re the one that turned me. I didn’t know it could be so good!”

Well “Satisfaction” is kinda like that. You’re pretending like you’re not getting enough, and what you are getting is not enough to satisfy you. It’s a challenge to your female fans’ egos. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be the one to satisfy you Mick.

Actually, I wish I wrote “Satisfaction”. Because coming from me or one of my chick friends it could actually be true. We’re young and we’re hot as hell but do you think the men we let in are getting the job done? Most of them don’t care and it seems like the rest honestly don’t know how.

Maybe you and I are the same then. Because I can’t get no satisfaction either, man.

So congratulations, Mick. “Satisfaction” made you a ton of cash and a huge rock star, but it also made you a misogynist pig.

Deepest congratulations,

Meli

Go on, girl.

Last nights winners were:
Round 1-TBA
Round 2: The Unholy Schmoos
Round 3: The Unholy Schmoos


And I don't care what you think, Van Halen IS yacht rock.

Hi,...erm,...sorry.

Hi, I'm so sorry I haven't called you, I've been SO busy! If I had a dime for everytime I've ever heard that one. No posts in awhile because I am lazy and hung over on Tuesdays but I'm going to resolve that and try to do better, ok?

Tomorrow a ex-girlfriend of mine is coming into town and she was particularly formative in my taste in music when I was younger. She knew how to bang her head against the punk rock and I was trying to shed that awful flannel that was sticking to me. I was a project. Sorta like Penny Lane thought Russell was a project in 'Almost Famous'? It's a long story.

She taught me about indie rock and changed my mind on somethings I didn't even realized I didn't understand. I learned a lot and am grateful for having my eyes opened.

Oh, she's also pretty crazy. It's going to be interesting.

LAST NIGHTS WINNERS WERE:

ROUND 1: THE SHITTY TEMPLE OF THE DOG
ROUND 2: THE UNHOLY TRINITY
ROUND 3: THE UNHOLY TRINITY

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the funniest man in show business today, and Will Ferrel, enjoy.

I'm SO mean.

Sorry about last night. I know I got a little out of hand. I understand that when I make a hard trivia round, some of you that are less knowledgeable than some will not enjoy it as much. I acknowledge that some of you were listening to Mariah Carey instead of The Pixies or The Replacements in the late 80's. I will acquiesce that you probably listened to Boys II Men maybe less so than say, Pavement or Afghan Whigs in the 90's. I'll even concede that you might know who these bands are, but just not THAT much about them and well, this might suck for you a little bit, and what are YOU Mr. Trivia host going to do to comfort and allow me to cheaply drink myself into oblivion because my friend at work told me I'd be awesome at this?

Nothing. Man up. This is music trivia, not music common knowledge. It's called 'Smart'ass for a reason. Thus the competitive part. End of rant.

Last nights winners were:

ROUND 1: Team Win (one girl, never seen her before, 100 points out of a possible 110)
ROUND 2: The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
ROUND 3: The Shitty The Band

Thanks to all that came out last night! Look for a story about us in Time Out this week or next!

Or this one...

First game of the year

Happy new year! Mondays game was a scream. I got a few compliments on my djing skeels, which is always a good feeling. Played alot of B sides and rare things that are from bands you would recognize normally, but not the songs playing. Like for example, "The Diary of Horace Wimp" off ELO's Discovery album. It's like Mr. Blue Sky pt. 2, awesome tune. I love deep tracks, there really is no better feeling than to discover a song on a record thats like, the 8th track on the album, might not have this MONSTER chorus that would have made it a hit, but YOU like it better than anything in the world. It's the same thrill you get when you find a new band no one knows about or a rare record find. Good stuff!

So, we're going to be in Time Out NY next week. They're doing a piece on trivia games around the city. Thats a great thing, I wish I could play more. I need to find a good game somewhere besides my own. Got to support the scene, dude! We trivia host gotta look out for each other! We're so underappreciated.

I also wanted to adress something my Time Out interviewer said about how either the Unholy Trinity or The Cherry Flavored Schmoos always won the games. Well, no, they don't always win. They DO win alot because they are good, very good, but there are certainly times when some completely new teams will show up and run thangs. It's always very cool.

That said, this weeks winners were:

ROUND 1: THE UNHOLY TRINITY
ROUND 2: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOO'S
ROUND 3: THE UNHOLY TRINITY

Yeah,...