Now Playing:"Master of Puppets" by Metallica

So, dear reader, I have FINALLY gotten confirmation that I will soon be getting the raw footage for the game in the mail soon. That means the ball is rolling and we are another step closer to making this thing bigger than it is. Fingers and toes crossed.

The game has been 'pretty' well attended lately. We are grateful, but we need more teams out still.

Ever heard of love? A friend told me once at a very pivital time that:

Love is all you need, love is like oxygen, love is a many splendored thing. There is Radar love, Adhesive love, love on the rocks. Courtney Love, Mike Love. Tender love, and Modern love. A Whole Lotta Love.

But none higher than the J. Giles band's description: Love Stinks.

You're welcome. Glad I could hip you to that.

Here's proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GluCM_ggMvw

State of Love and Trust

Hi, dear reader,..I've missed you so, really I have. I'm sorry that I only blog when I am in the mood, but cardinal rules for me are:

1) NEVER schedule sex! Just takes the wind out of everyone, creates expectations, and needless pressure.

2)NEVER schedule blogging! Just takes the wind out of everyone, creates expectations, and needless pressure.

Ok, so tonight was poorly attended, BUT a very close game! Everything in it's right place, right people were there and I feel like things are a'brewin' again. We're not sure where everyone went after championships? Why did you guys think we were done? We are still rolling along like Aerosmith's train! Get back here!

So much to talk about, hmmm..lessee,..there was a row this week between Courtney and Ryan Adams, no suprise there. Two drama queens square off about who funded Ryans record (I'm inclined to think Ryan is correct and Universal did, but where theres smoke theres usually fire.)

Maryln Manson got the swine flu,...with the chemicals that guy has ingested throughout his career,..just another hang over.

Theres these old Hendrix demos that are going to be released soon. I understand that theres even a collaboration with 2-Pac! I'm telling you people, it's only a matter of time til the celebrity zombie uprising!

Apparently, Steven Tyler and Roger Daltry are going on tour with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra this upcoming holiday season. I hear the rider demands railings in front of the stage so no one falls into the crowd. What??

Zoltan Bathory of Five Finger Death Punch (yeah, never heard of 'em either) went missing after a gig in Vegas, prompting an all out search by the police and their fans (which apparently are legion) and was found on a casino rooftop surrounded by a shitload of small, empty bags and a couple of tired hookers. The tour will continue and thank God we still have SOMEONE out there that acts like a rockstar. How very Russell Hammond AND Superman of you, Zoltan.

Pearl Jam are apparently putting out a new album that promises to be poppier, punkier, and more awesome than the last few records that have come out that we never heard. I'm told Target are the only major retailer who will carry it. Thats fine with me. Target are kinda the perfect retailer for it honestly. They are a forward thinking company who take care of their employee's (My ex used to work for them, and I trust her opinion), but apparently the only other retailers who will carry it are grass-roots, mom and pop record store's. Go get 'em, boys. Maybe one day you truly will be the next Grateful Dead.

Me? It's a dog eat dog world and I'm wearing steak underwear. Lot's more to tell, but honestly, I'm tired and getting weary of typing.

Here are the winners tonight:

1st places: Three and a half chord trick (Dan)-530 pts

2nd place: Morressey aches for anal quivering (Anne and Logan)- 470 pts

3rd place: The band Stewart (Andrea and co.)- 420 pts

Haven't seen Andrea in a coon's age. Good job for joining in the third round!

OH, one more thing, I hear The Small Faces are re-uniting sans Rod Stewart. Thats ok, apparently you earn a pass with that kind of solo career, but I'm disappointed I gotta say. I love me some Rod Stewart AND some Small Faces.What would the Black Crowes be without them?? Eh,...here's a video if you don't know what I mean.

Been a long time, Been a long time, Been a long lonely,...eh,..you know the rest...

Actually, that's not true. I'm trying to get all zen (like Plant in 1988) and NOT be lonely, but at the same time, NOT rely on anyone to make me feel that way. Here's the deal folks, I'm single for the first time in 8 years!

You know what? It's feeling pretty good,...at the moment.

The only reason I brought this up is because you all saw me take off from Fontana's Thursday night with a person totally alien to me and YOU, and we had a date. She's cool, her names' Gretchen and she's funny and I like her but ultimately, as cool as she was, just a date and a first one at that. (keep ya posted.)

DISCLAIMER: Gretch, if you are reading this, you so totally rule ,cute, funny, engaging but you didn't answer my PM on FB, (when I told you I totally had a great time last night,...'member??..no??) so, I'm ok with this post. Get back to me, and I'll so take it down. It's not a "big-get-even"..lyric test, anyone get it??)

Eh,.she's cool, she'll prolly laugh,.......Guys,..?? Guys?? I so suck..

Aaaanyway...Sorry to bring my personal life front and center, but that's the way it is (to quote a certain recent dead person) and I'm all about quotes from recently deceased dead folk these days?! My friend Richard swears it's a zombie uprising, and I'm almost inclined to agree! I also, have to do this to keep records and sane. It's only history, folks!

WINNERS LAST NIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE- THREE DOG ARMY OF NIGHT (WHERE ARE THE SCHMOO'S!!??)- 530PTS

2ND PLACE- QUEEF STROCKINOFF- -480PTS

3RD PLACE- ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL'S STEROID DEALER- 470 PTS


There's no video tonight folks, sorry, scroll down and check out the SCORES of video I've already posted that anyone who actually reads this blog has seen. If not, you are in for many treats!

XOXOX,...and all that...

Championship night!

SO,...tonight was incredible. I'm still reeling from all the support I got from our regulars about filming the promo video for getting SMARTASS on TV. It's SO Wayne's World, (except for the part where I'm not sleeping with a hot Asian rockstar,...and thats ok, I guess. I'd just settle for a hot Asian....KIDDING,...no, but call me.)

I just pray I kept my cred. I interviewed the people who have supported and they stood by me and thats worth it's weight in gold to me. I also, during an interview, got an audition with The Morgan's.

(You know, Anne Morgan's band. What, you never heard of Anne Morgan?? Dude, keep up. Only the next big thing!)

Yeah,...anyway, I STILL had to direct her to Lester Bangs, but thats part of the point. Sharing information about the craft/biz/brain is what it's all about. It's possible you could see your humble host performing on stage again. One of the best parts is the other guitarist plays a Les Paul Jr too.

ANYWAY, I lied. Next week I will officially announce the big winners, but since your here, I'm tipsy, and you are paying attention, here are the champions of the first annual SMARTASS R&R trivia championship! These include two weeks of scores and a 200 point headstart for qualifying:

-HONORABLE MENTIONS:

-PENICORN-830pts

-THE NEW ORGINAL'S-690 pts

-FELTCHING WITH JESUS (Really? Going to Hell..)- 770pts

3RD PLACE- ...ELEVEN!- 1020 PTS

2ND PLACE- FOUR MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS- 1130 PTS

AND THE FIRST PLACE WINNER, THE KING OF ROCK AND ROLL TRIVIA AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED IN ALL OF NYC:

1ST PLACE- PETE 1240pts!!

(Who knew a guy just named Pete, who mostly plays alone, would sweep this thing)?

There will be prizes for all who placed and they will be announced next week officially at the next SMARTASS game. Maybe even some news about our next move to world domination! Fingers crossed...

SO,..heres the weekly video. I asked my buddy Dave his fav 80's band when he was most likely as drunk as I was and he said Adam & The Ants, so thats good enough for me. I actually like the mix of Colonial and Native American. What the fuck was he trying to say? I know they worked together against us, but,...thats just too much info input. Fuck it, I still bob along anyway and now you can tooo!

1st Championship round was,...

Ermmm,...not as well attended as I'd hoped. And thats ok. It just means that some of you are more competitive than others. It only works to your advantage!

(I am going to call one person out though, and I think she's the shit anyway, Anne you hung in and did well, just let me heap praise on you for that next time. Just sayin'..)

Here are the leaders so far. They are qualifiers, and will start next weeks end all be all, with +200pts as well as what they ended with tonight. (someone commenting about this would be very telling, otherwise, whats the point of posting this?)

QUALIFIERS:

-...Eleven
-The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
-The New Orginal's
-Pete
-Two Man Army Of Darkness

WINNERS:
-1ST PLACE-PETE: 560PTS
-2ND PLACE-THE NEW ORGINAL'S: 490PTS
-3RD PLACE-TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS: 480PTS

Here's a Big Star performance from 1994-3? with half of The Posies, enjoy:

The first annuall championship Smartass rock and roll trivia,...thingie..

Wow,...just wow. It's awesome to see so many people coming out to play! I usually drone on about some rock and roll topic, trying desperately to be Lester Bangs, but not tonight. We go for the throat tonight. Here are the qualifying teams for next weeks championship, (these teams, in that they showed up two weeks running to compete, will start with 200 points! You are encouraged to bring new teams, they are still eligible to win!)

TONIGHTS WINNERS:

1st:PETE: 570 pts
2nd: ...Eleven: 560 pts
3rd: Two Man Army of Darkness: 550 1/2 pts

Additional teams that qualified:

-Mouthful Of Menstruation
-Soft Underbelly
-That was honestly not me at the Juliet Lewis Show
-Ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous Rick Danko!
-The flying clams & the shucker
-Michael Jackson's General Discoloration
-The New Originals
-Involuntary Wet T-shirt contest (It was raining that day)
-Aqua Urban Culture

Everyone has been spitting out the r&r knowledge! It will not be overlooked! See you guys next week for the first round of finals!

Here's one of the best bands you may or may not have ever heard of. They are called Five-Eight and they've been playing nationwide and especially in the south-east for YEARS! They used to crash on my/my roommates couch coming up! Check ME out!)

If you like the Replacements, Husker Du, Big Star, and any other Athens band, I couldn't think of another Georgia band(including R.E.M.) that you'd love more than this band. Early 90's in tha ATL when shit was happening, worth something, and music was not as much a product as it is now:

See you next Wednesday (actually, Thursday)...

Whooo,...damn that Brendan (Fontana's barkeep.) Not that I don't usually blog a little tipsy, just tonight I was on a roll and he noticed. Easy, killer!

Ok, so, Michael Jackson died today. Who saw THAT one coming?? Not me. We don't really know a lot about this guy, ironically. I mean, he IS/WAS one of the biggest stars ever. I remember, in my WAY younger days, seeing the making of 'Thriller' (mostly because John Landis directed, who is a baddass) and trying to learn the dance.

I sucked. Michael Peters is a sadist. (10 pts if you know who he is, I do and guess what? I am as straight as they come, just married to a dancer for 7 years and I pay attention.)

But, I'm honestly shocked this hasn't happend before. Most huge pop stars die by 27, but no, no. Mike had something to live for. Be it the kids, his fame, or that very last tour he was preping for. That tour, BTW, of the U.K. anyway, was already sold out weeks, maybe months ago.

He WAS a talented performer. "Electrifying!" to quote Little Richard about Mike's already dead former Father-in-law. (To soon?)

AND he could AFFORD to drag along all the baggage from his kidhood and subsequent stardom. And, it was legion. I'm not tearing him down. I know those kids had a harder life than most. And child performers in general, regardless of fame do. Those of you who know me, know that I can speak from experience on THAT one. No judgement here, BTW. Trust me.

So, anyway, I salute you sir. AND to put the age old flyover-that-guy-HAS-to-be-gay to bed, I know you had a tough time of it and I sympathize. It's hard to discern I know( DId you know that MJ wrote that Diana Ross hit 'Muscles'?... Eh, so what,..Maybe he was just projecting a wish?)

There are reasons for his quirks and most of us have always known it, (including, I suspect, some judges. Someone had to say it..)

Rest in peace, be that ultimate Simon Cowell in the sky, but follow up on it.
We're going to hell in a handbasket in every way, and since you were so important; when you have that coveted meeting with the almighty, ask him if we can go back to the early 80's and start all over as far as direction in pop goes. Maybe you, at this point, after all of life's questions have been answered, can save us from Katy Perry. Someone has to..

NEXT WEEK, THE FIRST ROUND OF THE FIRST ANNUAL SMARTASS'S BADASS ROCK AND ROLL FACT HEADSPILL! What is that you may ask? We are having a tournament, it's a three week affair. Your team (up to 10!) must be there every week to win! Prizes TBA, but we promise they will be worth it! Be there next week for qualify!

THE WINNERS TONIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE: THE NEW ORIGINALS- 580pts (Also, winners of the two shot rounds!)

2ND PLACE- THE CHERRY FLAVOURED SCHMOOS- 530PTS

3RD PLACE- ELEVEN (Or, we go too)- 520PTS

Congrats all! Fun night,...maybe to fun for me, sorry, try to stay more focused next time!

Here's is my favorite Michael Jackson performance ever. We all will miss him, All cruel jokes aside, he was a master that no one will ever forget. A true rockstar. Some have said that Kurt was the last rockstar,...I think that's only because we thought Mike would last forever. I wish he had. RIP Michael Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett!