Championship night!

SO,...tonight was incredible. I'm still reeling from all the support I got from our regulars about filming the promo video for getting SMARTASS on TV. It's SO Wayne's World, (except for the part where I'm not sleeping with a hot Asian rockstar,...and thats ok, I guess. I'd just settle for a hot Asian....KIDDING,...no, but call me.)

I just pray I kept my cred. I interviewed the people who have supported and they stood by me and thats worth it's weight in gold to me. I also, during an interview, got an audition with The Morgan's.

(You know, Anne Morgan's band. What, you never heard of Anne Morgan?? Dude, keep up. Only the next big thing!)

Yeah,...anyway, I STILL had to direct her to Lester Bangs, but thats part of the point. Sharing information about the craft/biz/brain is what it's all about. It's possible you could see your humble host performing on stage again. One of the best parts is the other guitarist plays a Les Paul Jr too.

ANYWAY, I lied. Next week I will officially announce the big winners, but since your here, I'm tipsy, and you are paying attention, here are the champions of the first annual SMARTASS R&R trivia championship! These include two weeks of scores and a 200 point headstart for qualifying:

-HONORABLE MENTIONS:

-PENICORN-830pts

-THE NEW ORGINAL'S-690 pts

-FELTCHING WITH JESUS (Really? Going to Hell..)- 770pts

3RD PLACE- ...ELEVEN!- 1020 PTS

2ND PLACE- FOUR MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS- 1130 PTS

AND THE FIRST PLACE WINNER, THE KING OF ROCK AND ROLL TRIVIA AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED IN ALL OF NYC:

1ST PLACE- PETE 1240pts!!

(Who knew a guy just named Pete, who mostly plays alone, would sweep this thing)?

There will be prizes for all who placed and they will be announced next week officially at the next SMARTASS game. Maybe even some news about our next move to world domination! Fingers crossed...

SO,..heres the weekly video. I asked my buddy Dave his fav 80's band when he was most likely as drunk as I was and he said Adam & The Ants, so thats good enough for me. I actually like the mix of Colonial and Native American. What the fuck was he trying to say? I know they worked together against us, but,...thats just too much info input. Fuck it, I still bob along anyway and now you can tooo!

1st Championship round was,...

Ermmm,...not as well attended as I'd hoped. And thats ok. It just means that some of you are more competitive than others. It only works to your advantage!

(I am going to call one person out though, and I think she's the shit anyway, Anne you hung in and did well, just let me heap praise on you for that next time. Just sayin'..)

Here are the leaders so far. They are qualifiers, and will start next weeks end all be all, with +200pts as well as what they ended with tonight. (someone commenting about this would be very telling, otherwise, whats the point of posting this?)

QUALIFIERS:

-...Eleven
-The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
-The New Orginal's
-Pete
-Two Man Army Of Darkness

WINNERS:
-1ST PLACE-PETE: 560PTS
-2ND PLACE-THE NEW ORGINAL'S: 490PTS
-3RD PLACE-TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS: 480PTS

Here's a Big Star performance from 1994-3? with half of The Posies, enjoy:

The first annuall championship Smartass rock and roll trivia,...thingie..

Wow,...just wow. It's awesome to see so many people coming out to play! I usually drone on about some rock and roll topic, trying desperately to be Lester Bangs, but not tonight. We go for the throat tonight. Here are the qualifying teams for next weeks championship, (these teams, in that they showed up two weeks running to compete, will start with 200 points! You are encouraged to bring new teams, they are still eligible to win!)

TONIGHTS WINNERS:

1st:PETE: 570 pts
2nd: ...Eleven: 560 pts
3rd: Two Man Army of Darkness: 550 1/2 pts

Additional teams that qualified:

-Mouthful Of Menstruation
-Soft Underbelly
-That was honestly not me at the Juliet Lewis Show
-Ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous Rick Danko!
-The flying clams & the shucker
-Michael Jackson's General Discoloration
-The New Originals
-Involuntary Wet T-shirt contest (It was raining that day)
-Aqua Urban Culture

Everyone has been spitting out the r&r knowledge! It will not be overlooked! See you guys next week for the first round of finals!

Here's one of the best bands you may or may not have ever heard of. They are called Five-Eight and they've been playing nationwide and especially in the south-east for YEARS! They used to crash on my/my roommates couch coming up! Check ME out!)

If you like the Replacements, Husker Du, Big Star, and any other Athens band, I couldn't think of another Georgia band(including R.E.M.) that you'd love more than this band. Early 90's in tha ATL when shit was happening, worth something, and music was not as much a product as it is now:

See you next Wednesday (actually, Thursday)...

Whooo,...damn that Brendan (Fontana's barkeep.) Not that I don't usually blog a little tipsy, just tonight I was on a roll and he noticed. Easy, killer!

Ok, so, Michael Jackson died today. Who saw THAT one coming?? Not me. We don't really know a lot about this guy, ironically. I mean, he IS/WAS one of the biggest stars ever. I remember, in my WAY younger days, seeing the making of 'Thriller' (mostly because John Landis directed, who is a baddass) and trying to learn the dance.

I sucked. Michael Peters is a sadist. (10 pts if you know who he is, I do and guess what? I am as straight as they come, just married to a dancer for 7 years and I pay attention.)

But, I'm honestly shocked this hasn't happend before. Most huge pop stars die by 27, but no, no. Mike had something to live for. Be it the kids, his fame, or that very last tour he was preping for. That tour, BTW, of the U.K. anyway, was already sold out weeks, maybe months ago.

He WAS a talented performer. "Electrifying!" to quote Little Richard about Mike's already dead former Father-in-law. (To soon?)

AND he could AFFORD to drag along all the baggage from his kidhood and subsequent stardom. And, it was legion. I'm not tearing him down. I know those kids had a harder life than most. And child performers in general, regardless of fame do. Those of you who know me, know that I can speak from experience on THAT one. No judgement here, BTW. Trust me.

So, anyway, I salute you sir. AND to put the age old flyover-that-guy-HAS-to-be-gay to bed, I know you had a tough time of it and I sympathize. It's hard to discern I know( DId you know that MJ wrote that Diana Ross hit 'Muscles'?... Eh, so what,..Maybe he was just projecting a wish?)

There are reasons for his quirks and most of us have always known it, (including, I suspect, some judges. Someone had to say it..)

Rest in peace, be that ultimate Simon Cowell in the sky, but follow up on it.
We're going to hell in a handbasket in every way, and since you were so important; when you have that coveted meeting with the almighty, ask him if we can go back to the early 80's and start all over as far as direction in pop goes. Maybe you, at this point, after all of life's questions have been answered, can save us from Katy Perry. Someone has to..

NEXT WEEK, THE FIRST ROUND OF THE FIRST ANNUAL SMARTASS'S BADASS ROCK AND ROLL FACT HEADSPILL! What is that you may ask? We are having a tournament, it's a three week affair. Your team (up to 10!) must be there every week to win! Prizes TBA, but we promise they will be worth it! Be there next week for qualify!

THE WINNERS TONIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE: THE NEW ORIGINALS- 580pts (Also, winners of the two shot rounds!)

2ND PLACE- THE CHERRY FLAVOURED SCHMOOS- 530PTS

3RD PLACE- ELEVEN (Or, we go too)- 520PTS

Congrats all! Fun night,...maybe to fun for me, sorry, try to stay more focused next time!

Here's is my favorite Michael Jackson performance ever. We all will miss him, All cruel jokes aside, he was a master that no one will ever forget. A true rockstar. Some have said that Kurt was the last rockstar,...I think that's only because we thought Mike would last forever. I wish he had. RIP Michael Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett!

It's astounding,...time is fleeting..

Last night was a great night, pretty crowded. Hope everyone had a great night. I'm so damb happy we moved to Fontana's. It's been pretty awesome, I gotta say.

No big news on the show, still waiting a few people to sign off on some things and equipment, etc. But it's still going.

I'm not in a very wordy mood tonight, so I'm just gonna post the winners and hope for the best.

1ST PLACE- PETE! 650 PTS

2ND PLACE- YO BITCHES 530 PTS

3RD PLACE- TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS 530 PTS (Tiebreakers)

Here's some of T.V. On The Radio's set from Bonnaroo! Enjoy!

Dude,...I have NO idea whats going on..

So, heresa deal, the score sheet for this weeks game is still in the office of Fontana's, (along with my tools for trivia because I had to dash out for the Fleetwood Mac show at MSG and they wouldn't have let me in that musical keep with anything remotely resembling recording equipment) therefore, in my drunken state I cannot remember the winners this week. I'll post 'em later.

Not that YOU care. I'd be shocked and amazed if anyone even read this blog, so instead, here is a brief review of said show, a funny pic of Phil Spectors hair and some funny commentaries.

THE REVIEW:

I got to the show late. I heard what I thought was piped in elevator music on the way in, (only because at this point The Mac IS elevator music as far as any of these brainless wonders who are our rock fans.)

It sounded like elevator music only because they sound SO perfect live. Walked right into a flawless mini-acoustic set by Buckingham and Nicks of "Landslide" and "Never Going Back Again", which was VERY dramatically performed by the Lynds'.

I WILL say though, his solo performances were the best and mostly emotional.

Great, but he never let you forget that he was the (most likley) highest paid member of that band at this time. OR not. Either way, he was more of an actor than musican thoughout the whole show. Stevie was,..well, Stevie, shawls, shadows, etc. I love me some Stevie, don't get me wrong, but after a second round at MSG on this "Hits" tour, you could tell they were just there for the paycheck. They even covered 'Stand Back' to the delight of the 500 Stevies who were there. The crowd was mostly 45+. Raised on an apathetic diet of 70's AOR, and maybe the last chance they would have gotten to see this band again.

All in all, seeing this band for the first, and I suspect the last time, I give them an 8 outta 10. That's saying something for a band of that stature.

Ok, here's a little funny:


Nice,...

"You're no one in rock and roll until you've fought with me, or slept with Wynonna Ryder!"- Courtney Love..."OR, Michael Stipe!"-Todd Satterfield

I wonder of that included Kurt?? Probably not, there's no way that harpy would have allowed that lil' coupling. ALTHOUGH, word has it she tried to encourage Kurt to explore his cross-dressing fetish with one Michael Stipe. That's just what I heard, but from reliable snitches. But, hell, Mike Stipe has ALWAYS been a bit of a star-fucker in his own right. From Paul Westerberg to KRS-One to Thom Yorke. Most of these folks have worked with REM or are friends of theirs and it's no secret Mikes' gay.

I've questioned his intentions since that scene in 'Meeting People Is Easy' when after a trying tour schedule, a road weary Thom Yorke is protected from menacing, over-zealous security goons who didn't recognize the LEAD SINGER of the headlining band as he went up to the green room after his show. Stipe was there, all "HEY, he's the lead singer, BACK OFF!" protecting his lil' buddy Thom.

This is complete bullshit. Back off, Mike. YOU'RE outta line! The look on Yorke's face said it all. A mix of unease and apathy (a stretch for Yorke.)

Here's why:

Forget the fact that pre-Radiohead band, "On A Friday", had been touring Europe for years before even BECOMING Radiohead, (that was right around the time 'True Stories' came out,...hmmm?) OR that 'Creep' was a HUGE hit and the ensuing tour of the U.S. should have prepared Thom & Co. for what they could have expected, even after releasing ANOTHER huge album (The Bends) and touring the U.S. again.

After all that hype and hoopla, Big Daddy Stipe has to step in and defend Thom to security goons on a Grammy tour (O.K. Computer??)

I doubt it.

So after all that ranting, my point is (and I DO have one), Mike Stipe is a star-fucker,...almost. I'm know Thom is straight and married and had no interest in going all Bowie and Jagger with Mr.This-One-Goes-Out-To-The-One-I-Love. After all that dues earning on Thom's part, I'm SURE he was quite capable of defending his stardom/vanity. I mean, really, all he had to do was start dancing like he does onstage! Have you SEEN him thrashing around to "Idioteque" off 'Kid A" onstage? He could give any U.F.C. goon a run for his money just by grooving to his own bump!

KRS-One on the other hand? Oh,Stipe and he TOTALLY fucked....
(Disclaimer: Not really, KRS would have me shot. You know how the hippity-hop community hates snitches.)

Tonight's big winners were:

1ST PLACE: TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS-540 PTS

2ND PLACE: DISASTER UNR.-530 PTS

3RD PLACE: ELEVEN-520 PTS

Thats right ladies and germs, all seperated by 10 pts a piece. Well done, guys.

Here's proof of what I was talking about before..