Smartass

The hiatus of an era

2010-07-26T23:37:00.000-07:00

What's up, G?

So, here's the thing,...the game is not going on anywhere, at any time, for the time being. This week, the lovely and gracious owners of Fontana's approached and let me know of their decision to postpone the game for a bit. The reason's were absolutley understandable and no love was lost.

To be honest, I need a break too.

I am trying to concentrate on my OWN rock and/or roll. I AM a songwriter after all and have spent too much time away from my art as opposed to foisting my knowledge about it onto unsuspecting drunks....yes, thats a joke.

So, I think for a bit, we will sniff around and see if anyone wants it to be part of their family, and if not, we'll see how things go in the Fall at our true home. I sincerely want to thank all of the amazing people I have met in the last year and PAST years hosting this game. You are all friends and are held in the highest regard. Especially, Jasper, Deannie, Holly, Mary and every single employee of Fontana's. You have always been supportive and gone above and beyond to make this game a success and show an example of what every rock bar in NYC could, and more importantly, should be about.

We'll be in touch. Look for new gig's by Your New Best Friend in September and the New York Band Draft in October. Those are the next two times you will see me wield the Les Paul Jr again.

I can't WAIT!

IN THE MEANTIME; here is an awesome video to tide you over til the next post. The 'Kilby' interviewing Grohl. Prince is discussed and there is trivia. Enjoy.
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On the state of metal..

2010-04-02T09:59:00.000-07:00

Yes, there is true metal to be had in this burg. I've seen it, I experienced it last night via here AND Chicago.

I used to be a little metal dirtbag like many in New Jersey. Growing up there was kind of like a small East coast California. There were fast cars, fast women and fast metal. Somehow, it has survived and is now somehow, all the rage. How did this ugly little genre get to be so fashionable? I know why, sort of. It's because of the hedonistic, reckless abandon it represents and the ones who are just stupid and daring enough to take advantage of it. I am certainly no better.

Last night was metal night at Fontana's and the entire night was nothing but. All metal trivia, former/present groupies (and their children!),free whiskey and pizza,and loud,heavy bands that made the Earth shake. It was heaven. The parts I remember that is. I met a lovely woman who works for a drummer fan boy magazine. I miss that the most thinking back. Getting that fresh copy of Guitar For The Practicing Musician with some crazy shredder on the cover and delving into pages of tabs of the newest and oldest songs that I could learn how to play just like the pros. Where's my guitar? Metal excites me and really, thats the whole reason to love it. It's exciting.

Best team name last night was: Motley Crucifix.

Enjoy one of New Jersey's finest exports!

RIP Alex Chilton

2010-03-29T11:40:00.000-07:00

Shit, I'm sorry, I know I've been AWOL for awhile. Been very busy doing all sorts of things but I had to jot down something about Alex Chilton passing. That was a bummer. I got turned onto Big Star by Jennifer Dopson back in 94 when we were desperately trying to not date each other and failing miserably at it. I was big into the Replacements and she couldn't believe I'd never heard of 'em. "You know that song Alex Chilton, it's a real person, silly." I didn't know shit from Shine-ola and she had toured with Sebadoh, so I took her word on it and it was a pretty profound discovery.

We went to see him at The Variety Playhouse in Little 5 Points one night,..fucker didn't play ONE Big Star song. What a gyp!? Anyway, 'Radio City/#1 Record' became a bible to me. I even liked their second album "You and Your Sister", weird as it was to my musical palette at the time.

Big Star was supposed to play at SXSW this year and it was SO devastating for fans like me who were even excited they they were playing at ALL, even if we couldn't actually be there. I was SUPPOSED to see them this last fall but everyone involved, dropped that ball. Westerberg wrote a great op-ed in the New York Times about him, which is fitting because that guy rarely even speaks to anyone apparently, so you know it had to be a semi-smartass eulogy, and it was that, but you could tell tears were hitting the page as he wrote, or typed or whatever. Look it up, I'm too lazy to link.

Thanks for those records, Alex. I hope you are rockin' out up there somewhere. I'll never travel far without you either.

I've been walking in Central Park, singing after dark...

2010-02-10T02:43:00.000-08:00

..people think I'm crazy.

Thats sorta true, and maybe it IS. Smartass has been going very well considering. The usual suspects are WAY too busy and dealing with life things, but TimeOut has been kind and we have a whole new stable. So it goes, to quote Vonnegut.

I want to take the opportunity to thank Fontana's, it's always amazing staff, Jasper, and the amazing owners who believe in us and support the night.

I was told tonight that MTV is looking the night over and seriously considering us for the Fall. Fingers crossed. There have been so many awesome people who have came out to play and eat FREE PIZZA! I can't stress enough how FREE the pizza is! ;)

Thursday is Brendan the bartenders' birthday. You better make it out!

Here's where I am:

Hail to England, by way of IFC.

2009-11-16T16:08:00.000-08:00

Hello, dear reader! Welcome back to another fun filled blog post! So, I have some very exciting news to tell you about. Last Friday I was lucky enough to attend the NYC screening of "All Tommorrow's Parties" by director Jonathan Caouette. It is a collage of footage compiled by concert goers of the 'All Tommorrow's Parties' festival in the UK. The festival is curated by some of today's most amazing indie bands such as Belle and Sebastian, Sonic Youth, Portishead and features such bands as Patti Smith, Grinderman, Iggy and The Stooges, Mogwai, Slint, Grizzly Bear, The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, The Gossip, Daniel Johnston and The Boredoms.

It is an amazing film mainly because of the close proximity of the fans to the bands. It is shot on an English vacation compound that houses all the bands, and from what I could gather, most of the fans as well. Which makes for some interesting, up close and personal interactions with the artist and audience. It literally was like a small, modern Woodstock, only with different drugs. The footage from back in the day when the English would arrive by bus to the compound and expunge on how bloody awesome the place was, only fed the psychedelic tinge the film held. I strongly urge you to seek out this gem (even if it's only on Netflix soon, there was only two days of screening. Which baffles me still! This is an important film and I expect it will be back very soon)!

Thursday night is another fun night of the game. We had a great metal night last week and this coming week promises to be just as fun.

Here's the trailer for All Tomorrow's Parties:

Now Playing:"Master of Puppets" by Metallica

2009-10-26T19:50:00.000-07:00

So, dear reader, I have FINALLY gotten confirmation that I will soon be getting the raw footage for the game in the mail soon. That means the ball is rolling and we are another step closer to making this thing bigger than it is. Fingers and toes crossed.

The game has been 'pretty' well attended lately. We are grateful, but we need more teams out still.

Ever heard of love? A friend told me once at a very pivital time that:

Love is all you need, love is like oxygen, love is a many splendored thing. There is Radar love, Adhesive love, love on the rocks. Courtney Love, Mike Love. Tender love, and Modern love. A Whole Lotta Love.

But none higher than the J. Giles band's description: Love Stinks.

You're welcome. Glad I could hip you to that.

Here's proof: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GluCM_ggMvw

State of Love and Trust

2009-09-24T21:19:00.000-07:00

Hi, dear reader,..I've missed you so, really I have. I'm sorry that I only blog when I am in the mood, but cardinal rules for me are:

1) NEVER schedule sex! Just takes the wind out of everyone, creates expectations, and needless pressure.

2)NEVER schedule blogging! Just takes the wind out of everyone, creates expectations, and needless pressure.

Ok, so tonight was poorly attended, BUT a very close game! Everything in it's right place, right people were there and I feel like things are a'brewin' again. We're not sure where everyone went after championships? Why did you guys think we were done? We are still rolling along like Aerosmith's train! Get back here!

So much to talk about, hmmm..lessee,..there was a row this week between Courtney and Ryan Adams, no suprise there. Two drama queens square off about who funded Ryans record (I'm inclined to think Ryan is correct and Universal did, but where theres smoke theres usually fire.)

Maryln Manson got the swine flu,...with the chemicals that guy has ingested throughout his career,..just another hang over.

Theres these old Hendrix demos that are going to be released soon. I understand that theres even a collaboration with 2-Pac! I'm telling you people, it's only a matter of time til the celebrity zombie uprising!

Apparently, Steven Tyler and Roger Daltry are going on tour with the Trans-Siberian Orchestra this upcoming holiday season. I hear the rider demands railings in front of the stage so no one falls into the crowd. What??

Zoltan Bathory of Five Finger Death Punch (yeah, never heard of 'em either) went missing after a gig in Vegas, prompting an all out search by the police and their fans (which apparently are legion) and was found on a casino rooftop surrounded by a shitload of small, empty bags and a couple of tired hookers. The tour will continue and thank God we still have SOMEONE out there that acts like a rockstar. How very Russell Hammond AND Superman of you, Zoltan.

Pearl Jam are apparently putting out a new album that promises to be poppier, punkier, and more awesome than the last few records that have come out that we never heard. I'm told Target are the only major retailer who will carry it. Thats fine with me. Target are kinda the perfect retailer for it honestly. They are a forward thinking company who take care of their employee's (My ex used to work for them, and I trust her opinion), but apparently the only other retailers who will carry it are grass-roots, mom and pop record store's. Go get 'em, boys. Maybe one day you truly will be the next Grateful Dead.

Me? It's a dog eat dog world and I'm wearing steak underwear. Lot's more to tell, but honestly, I'm tired and getting weary of typing.

Here are the winners tonight:

1st places: Three and a half chord trick (Dan)-530 pts

2nd place: Morressey aches for anal quivering (Anne and Logan)- 470 pts

3rd place: The band Stewart (Andrea and co.)- 420 pts

Haven't seen Andrea in a coon's age. Good job for joining in the third round!

OH, one more thing, I hear The Small Faces are re-uniting sans Rod Stewart. Thats ok, apparently you earn a pass with that kind of solo career, but I'm disappointed I gotta say. I love me some Rod Stewart AND some Small Faces.What would the Black Crowes be without them?? Eh,...here's a video if you don't know what I mean.

Been a long time, Been a long time, Been a long lonely,...eh,..you know the rest...

2009-08-08T02:12:00.000-07:00

Actually, that's not true. I'm trying to get all zen (like Plant in 1988) and NOT be lonely, but at the same time, NOT rely on anyone to make me feel that way. Here's the deal folks, I'm single for the first time in 8 years!

You know what? It's feeling pretty good,...at the moment.

The only reason I brought this up is because you all saw me take off from Fontana's Thursday night with a person totally alien to me and YOU, and we had a date. She's cool, her names' Gretchen and she's funny and I like her but ultimately, as cool as she was, just a date and a first one at that. (keep ya posted.)

DISCLAIMER: Gretch, if you are reading this, you so totally rule ,cute, funny, engaging but you didn't answer my PM on FB, (when I told you I totally had a great time last night,...'member??..no??) so, I'm ok with this post. Get back to me, and I'll so take it down. It's not a "big-get-even"..lyric test, anyone get it??)

Eh,.she's cool, she'll prolly laugh,.......Guys,..?? Guys?? I so suck..

Aaaanyway...Sorry to bring my personal life front and center, but that's the way it is (to quote a certain recent dead person) and I'm all about quotes from recently deceased dead folk these days?! My friend Richard swears it's a zombie uprising, and I'm almost inclined to agree! I also, have to do this to keep records and sane. It's only history, folks!

WINNERS LAST NIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE- THREE DOG ARMY OF NIGHT (WHERE ARE THE SCHMOO'S!!??)- 530PTS

2ND PLACE- QUEEF STROCKINOFF- -480PTS

3RD PLACE- ANTHONY MICHAEL HALL'S STEROID DEALER- 470 PTS

There's no video tonight folks, sorry, scroll down and check out the SCORES of video I've already posted that anyone who actually reads this blog has seen. If not, you are in for many treats!

XOXOX,...and all that...

Championship night!

2009-07-23T21:42:00.000-07:00

SO,...tonight was incredible. I'm still reeling from all the support I got from our regulars about filming the promo video for getting SMARTASS on TV. It's SO Wayne's World, (except for the part where I'm not sleeping with a hot Asian rockstar,...and thats ok, I guess. I'd just settle for a hot Asian....KIDDING,...no, but call me.)

I just pray I kept my cred. I interviewed the people who have supported and they stood by me and thats worth it's weight in gold to me. I also, during an interview, got an audition with The Morgan's.

(You know, Anne Morgan's band. What, you never heard of Anne Morgan?? Dude, keep up. Only the next big thing!)

Yeah,...anyway, I STILL had to direct her to Lester Bangs, but thats part of the point. Sharing information about the craft/biz/brain is what it's all about. It's possible you could see your humble host performing on stage again. One of the best parts is the other guitarist plays a Les Paul Jr too.

ANYWAY, I lied. Next week I will officially announce the big winners, but since your here, I'm tipsy, and you are paying attention, here are the champions of the first annual SMARTASS R&R trivia championship! These include two weeks of scores and a 200 point headstart for qualifying:

-HONORABLE MENTIONS:

-PENICORN-830pts

-THE NEW ORGINAL'S-690 pts

-FELTCHING WITH JESUS (Really? Going to Hell..)- 770pts

3RD PLACE- ...ELEVEN!- 1020 PTS

2ND PLACE- FOUR MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS- 1130 PTS

AND THE FIRST PLACE WINNER, THE KING OF ROCK AND ROLL TRIVIA AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED IN ALL OF NYC:

1ST PLACE- PETE 1240pts!!

(Who knew a guy just named Pete, who mostly plays alone, would sweep this thing)?

There will be prizes for all who placed and they will be announced next week officially at the next SMARTASS game. Maybe even some news about our next move to world domination! Fingers crossed...

SO,..heres the weekly video. I asked my buddy Dave his fav 80's band when he was most likely as drunk as I was and he said Adam & The Ants, so thats good enough for me. I actually like the mix of Colonial and Native American. What the fuck was he trying to say? I know they worked together against us, but,...thats just too much info input. Fuck it, I still bob along anyway and now you can tooo!

1st Championship round was,...

2009-07-16T22:46:00.000-07:00

Ermmm,...not as well attended as I'd hoped. And thats ok. It just means that some of you are more competitive than others. It only works to your advantage!

(I am going to call one person out though, and I think she's the shit anyway, Anne you hung in and did well, just let me heap praise on you for that next time. Just sayin'..)

Here are the leaders so far. They are qualifiers, and will start next weeks end all be all, with +200pts as well as what they ended with tonight. (someone commenting about this would be very telling, otherwise, whats the point of posting this?)

QUALIFIERS:

-...Eleven
-The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
-The New Orginal's
-Pete
-Two Man Army Of Darkness

WINNERS:
-1ST PLACE-PETE: 560PTS
-2ND PLACE-THE NEW ORGINAL'S: 490PTS
-3RD PLACE-TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS: 480PTS

Here's a Big Star performance from 1994-3? with half of The Posies, enjoy:

The first annuall championship Smartass rock and roll trivia,...thingie..

2009-07-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

Wow,...just wow. It's awesome to see so many people coming out to play! I usually drone on about some rock and roll topic, trying desperately to be Lester Bangs, but not tonight. We go for the throat tonight. Here are the qualifying teams for next weeks championship, (these teams, in that they showed up two weeks running to compete, will start with 200 points! You are encouraged to bring new teams, they are still eligible to win!)

TONIGHTS WINNERS:

1st:PETE: 570 pts
2nd: ...Eleven: 560 pts
3rd: Two Man Army of Darkness: 550 1/2 pts

Additional teams that qualified:

-Mouthful Of Menstruation
-Soft Underbelly
-That was honestly not me at the Juliet Lewis Show
-Ladies and gentlemen, the fabulous Rick Danko!
-The flying clams & the shucker
-Michael Jackson's General Discoloration
-The New Originals
-Involuntary Wet T-shirt contest (It was raining that day)
-Aqua Urban Culture

Everyone has been spitting out the r&r knowledge! It will not be overlooked! See you guys next week for the first round of finals!

Here's one of the best bands you may or may not have ever heard of. They are called Five-Eight and they've been playing nationwide and especially in the south-east for YEARS! They used to crash on my/my roommates couch coming up! Check ME out!)

If you like the Replacements, Husker Du, Big Star, and any other Athens band, I couldn't think of another Georgia band(including R.E.M.) that you'd love more than this band. Early 90's in tha ATL when shit was happening, worth something, and music was not as much a product as it is now:

See you next Wednesday (actually, Thursday)...

2009-06-25T20:25:00.000-07:00

Whooo,...damn that Brendan (Fontana's barkeep.) Not that I don't usually blog a little tipsy, just tonight I was on a roll and he noticed. Easy, killer!

Ok, so, Michael Jackson died today. Who saw THAT one coming?? Not me. We don't really know a lot about this guy, ironically. I mean, he IS/WAS one of the biggest stars ever. I remember, in my WAY younger days, seeing the making of 'Thriller' (mostly because John Landis directed, who is a baddass) and trying to learn the dance.

I sucked. Michael Peters is a sadist. (10 pts if you know who he is, I do and guess what? I am as straight as they come, just married to a dancer for 7 years and I pay attention.)

But, I'm honestly shocked this hasn't happend before. Most huge pop stars die by 27, but no, no. Mike had something to live for. Be it the kids, his fame, or that very last tour he was preping for. That tour, BTW, of the U.K. anyway, was already sold out weeks, maybe months ago.

He WAS a talented performer. "Electrifying!" to quote Little Richard about Mike's already dead former Father-in-law. (To soon?)

AND he could AFFORD to drag along all the baggage from his kidhood and subsequent stardom. And, it was legion. I'm not tearing him down. I know those kids had a harder life than most. And child performers in general, regardless of fame do. Those of you who know me, know that I can speak from experience on THAT one. No judgement here, BTW. Trust me.

So, anyway, I salute you sir. AND to put the age old flyover-that-guy-HAS-to-be-gay to bed, I know you had a tough time of it and I sympathize. It's hard to discern I know( DId you know that MJ wrote that Diana Ross hit 'Muscles'?... Eh, so what,..Maybe he was just projecting a wish?)

There are reasons for his quirks and most of us have always known it, (including, I suspect, some judges. Someone had to say it..)

Rest in peace, be that ultimate Simon Cowell in the sky, but follow up on it.
We're going to hell in a handbasket in every way, and since you were so important; when you have that coveted meeting with the almighty, ask him if we can go back to the early 80's and start all over as far as direction in pop goes. Maybe you, at this point, after all of life's questions have been answered, can save us from Katy Perry. Someone has to..

NEXT WEEK, THE FIRST ROUND OF THE FIRST ANNUAL SMARTASS'S BADASS ROCK AND ROLL FACT HEADSPILL! What is that you may ask? We are having a tournament, it's a three week affair. Your team (up to 10!) must be there every week to win! Prizes TBA, but we promise they will be worth it! Be there next week for qualify!

THE WINNERS TONIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE: THE NEW ORIGINALS- 580pts (Also, winners of the two shot rounds!)

2ND PLACE- THE CHERRY FLAVOURED SCHMOOS- 530PTS

3RD PLACE- ELEVEN (Or, we go too)- 520PTS

Congrats all! Fun night,...maybe to fun for me, sorry, try to stay more focused next time!

Here's is my favorite Michael Jackson performance ever. We all will miss him, All cruel jokes aside, he was a master that no one will ever forget. A true rockstar. Some have said that Kurt was the last rockstar,...I think that's only because we thought Mike would last forever. I wish he had. RIP Michael Jackson, and Farrah Fawcett!

It's astounding,...time is fleeting..

2009-06-19T20:22:00.000-07:00

Last night was a great night, pretty crowded. Hope everyone had a great night. I'm so damb happy we moved to Fontana's. It's been pretty awesome, I gotta say.

No big news on the show, still waiting a few people to sign off on some things and equipment, etc. But it's still going.

I'm not in a very wordy mood tonight, so I'm just gonna post the winners and hope for the best.

1ST PLACE- PETE! 650 PTS

2ND PLACE- YO BITCHES 530 PTS

3RD PLACE- TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS 530 PTS (Tiebreakers)

Here's some of T.V. On The Radio's set from Bonnaroo! Enjoy!

Dude,...I have NO idea whats going on..

2009-06-12T20:38:00.000-07:00

So, heresa deal, the score sheet for this weeks game is still in the office of Fontana's, (along with my tools for trivia because I had to dash out for the Fleetwood Mac show at MSG and they wouldn't have let me in that musical keep with anything remotely resembling recording equipment) therefore, in my drunken state I cannot remember the winners this week. I'll post 'em later.

Not that YOU care. I'd be shocked and amazed if anyone even read this blog, so instead, here is a brief review of said show, a funny pic of Phil Spectors hair and some funny commentaries.

THE REVIEW:

I got to the show late. I heard what I thought was piped in elevator music on the way in, (only because at this point The Mac IS elevator music as far as any of these brainless wonders who are our rock fans.)

It sounded like elevator music only because they sound SO perfect live. Walked right into a flawless mini-acoustic set by Buckingham and Nicks of "Landslide" and "Never Going Back Again", which was VERY dramatically performed by the Lynds'.

I WILL say though, his solo performances were the best and mostly emotional.

Great, but he never let you forget that he was the (most likley) highest paid member of that band at this time. OR not. Either way, he was more of an actor than musican thoughout the whole show. Stevie was,..well, Stevie, shawls, shadows, etc. I love me some Stevie, don't get me wrong, but after a second round at MSG on this "Hits" tour, you could tell they were just there for the paycheck. They even covered 'Stand Back' to the delight of the 500 Stevies who were there. The crowd was mostly 45+. Raised on an apathetic diet of 70's AOR, and maybe the last chance they would have gotten to see this band again.

All in all, seeing this band for the first, and I suspect the last time, I give them an 8 outta 10. That's saying something for a band of that stature.

Ok, here's a little funny:

Nice,...

"You're no one in rock and roll until you've fought with me, or slept with Wynonna Ryder!"- Courtney Love..."OR, Michael Stipe!"-Todd Satterfield

2009-06-04T19:13:00.000-07:00

I wonder of that included Kurt?? Probably not, there's no way that harpy would have allowed that lil' coupling. ALTHOUGH, word has it she tried to encourage Kurt to explore his cross-dressing fetish with one Michael Stipe. That's just what I heard, but from reliable snitches. But, hell, Mike Stipe has ALWAYS been a bit of a star-fucker in his own right. From Paul Westerberg to KRS-One to Thom Yorke. Most of these folks have worked with REM or are friends of theirs and it's no secret Mikes' gay.

I've questioned his intentions since that scene in 'Meeting People Is Easy' when after a trying tour schedule, a road weary Thom Yorke is protected from menacing, over-zealous security goons who didn't recognize the LEAD SINGER of the headlining band as he went up to the green room after his show. Stipe was there, all "HEY, he's the lead singer, BACK OFF!" protecting his lil' buddy Thom.

This is complete bullshit. Back off, Mike. YOU'RE outta line! The look on Yorke's face said it all. A mix of unease and apathy (a stretch for Yorke.)

Here's why:

Forget the fact that pre-Radiohead band, "On A Friday", had been touring Europe for years before even BECOMING Radiohead, (that was right around the time 'True Stories' came out,...hmmm?) OR that 'Creep' was a HUGE hit and the ensuing tour of the U.S. should have prepared Thom & Co. for what they could have expected, even after releasing ANOTHER huge album (The Bends) and touring the U.S. again.

After all that hype and hoopla, Big Daddy Stipe has to step in and defend Thom to security goons on a Grammy tour (O.K. Computer??)

I doubt it.

So after all that ranting, my point is (and I DO have one), Mike Stipe is a star-fucker,...almost. I'm know Thom is straight and married and had no interest in going all Bowie and Jagger with Mr.This-One-Goes-Out-To-The-One-I-Love. After all that dues earning on Thom's part, I'm SURE he was quite capable of defending his stardom/vanity. I mean, really, all he had to do was start dancing like he does onstage! Have you SEEN him thrashing around to "Idioteque" off 'Kid A" onstage? He could give any U.F.C. goon a run for his money just by grooving to his own bump!

KRS-One on the other hand? Oh,Stipe and he TOTALLY fucked....
(Disclaimer: Not really, KRS would have me shot. You know how the hippity-hop community hates snitches.)

Tonight's big winners were:

1ST PLACE: TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS-540 PTS

2ND PLACE: DISASTER UNR.-530 PTS

3RD PLACE: ELEVEN-520 PTS

Thats right ladies and germs, all seperated by 10 pts a piece. Well done, guys.

Here's proof of what I was talking about before..

Well,....

2009-05-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

...not a 'phenomenal' turn-out tonight (regardless of my pleadings off Facebook) but good enough to garner a 'pilot'. That means NBC is interested, they will spend a bit of money based on they're ideas of what the show should be, and decide from there. We'll see. They were very nice and fun and enthusiastic. Means a lot and I feel satisfied (unlike Westerberg) that the night was a success.

That mean come next week to get the pure stuff, (lookin' at YOU Jersey!) because we may be made safe for network when you see us en masse. And it includes the Jersey market, so THERE all you high school peeps who beat me up/shit on me/didn't have respect because i didn't attend reunions,....Oh,...sorry,

That means no cussing and much less snarky. OR not,...but I digress...I'm told via email, that we will finaly have a story about us in AMNY tomorrow. So, if you are heading to the subway in the morning, (something I RARELY do anymore) pick up a copy and let me know if they are on the level or not!

The winners tonight were:

1ST PLACE- The CHERRY FLAVOURED SCHMOO'S (Surprise there...)

2ND PLACE- TEAM ANVIL ( The team from NBC, and they won it FAIR AND SQUARE!)

3RD PLACE- "I'M A DOCTOR, JIM!"

Ok, here's an awesome appearance of an awesome band on the JOAN RIVER'S show from '87!! Check it out!

BTW, if you read this blog, give a shout out so I can gauge the awesome peeps who frequent this!!

Now playing Big Time by Peter Gabriel

2009-05-21T19:40:00.000-07:00

So, I've been re-reading "Psychotic Reactions and Carburetor Dung" which is a collection of album reviews and stories about rock and roll. It's just so great and so smartly written. The guy makes no bones about the fact that he wrote on drugs, and it reads like that, but in a very intelligent way.

Phillip Seymour Hoffman played him briefly in 'Almost Famous'. He told a young William Miller, "You know I used to take speed,...a little cough syrup, and just stay up all night writing, just to fucking write."

Thats how it reads too.

I highly recommend it. (Barnes and Noble usually has a copy laying around.) GO GET IT! I suggest starting with the story of The Clash, then move on to the re-telling of the song Maggie May. Both are side splitting.

Tomorrows a BIG day for the game. I can't say too much because I don't want to jinx it, but all will be explained next entry. I swear. Just send me some extra good vibes and luck!

THE WINNERS TONIGHT WERE:

1ST PLACE- WE LOVE PIZZA-500 PTS (Way to go guys, your first win!)

2ND PLACE- TWO MAN ARMY OF DARKNESS

3RD PLACE- THE STUFF (Alex Tween of The Forms, my favorite band, and Jen Carlson of Gothamist.com, my favorite local news blog)

Here's a clip of a very underrated band from the 80's that is dear to my heart performing a kick ass hit of theirs live.

Wow, let's get behind this green thing!

2009-05-14T18:51:00.000-07:00

Tonight was stellar! We had a shit-ton of new first timers who really enjoyed the game and that was cool. We like that energy. High scorers too! Almost everybody wins!

Some SMARTASS news, and there is some..

1. We will be in AM NY on MAY 29th. That's what I was told. Maybe the most read newspaper of strap-hangers in NYC.

2. Fingers crossed, I was contacted by a producer of NY Non-Stop, an N.B.C. owned local TV news station, and we were asked if we wanted to do a piece for the channel. That means a 2 minute (or so) spot that will run for a day, all day. This is very cool. TV exposure is a great thing, even for cable....(Did I say that out loud?) No, really, I'm way happy about it and can't wait!

Here are the winners tonight:

1. TWO MAN ARMY OF TWILIGHT-410 PTS

2. THE SOLO SCHMOO-380 PTS

3. HAIRBO-360 PTS

I asked a few questions about Van Halen this week (did you know it was Davd Lee Roth who thought they should name the band 'Van Halen'?) so here is a brief history of the band in it's early stages. Pay attention.

Uhhh, huh!

2009-05-07T18:57:00.000-07:00

Hi, so yeah, tomorrow morning I will be (I'm told) interviewed in AM NY about SMARTASS. This is big deal because roughly 3 million subway riders read this NYC rag daily.

That's the population of Atlanta circa. 1996.

That's quite a few people. This is exciting, to me anyway.

Tonight's game was again, fun, but not crowded by any means. No big. The club continues to support and more importantly, continues to provide FREE Rockets pizza. No one is complaining. Honestly, I think the draw is the free grub, but everyone seems to be having a great time so I'm not going to bitch, as opposed to usual.

The winners tonight were:

(TECHNICAL WIN: JASPER-310PTS)

1ST PLACE: TEAM ATLANTIS-290 PTS

2ND PLACE: WE HATE ANCHOVIES, ASPARAGUS & PEAS-250 PTS

3RD PLACE: WE LOVE PIZZA-200 PTS

Congrats all!

Here's some old school awesome for ya!

Hey, look,...The Mat's played to 5 people sometimes too!

2009-04-30T22:09:00.000-07:00

...and they still handed in stellar shows.

Look, I know it's NYC, I know you have things to do, I know sometimes Lyndsay Lohan shows up and you just HAVE to see what she does. Or not.

Not to make fun. NO ONE would ever cop to that.

Shit, what am I trying to say? Oh yeah,...come out to SMARTASS. I know I get like this after less than crowded shows, and I really don't wanna come off like the cheerleaders in Fast Times (look it up), but a lot of work goes into making this thing work and it'd be great to see some of you. /end of rant.

WINNERS TONIGHT:

1st place- Omega Woman-160 points
2nd- I've Forgotten Everything-120points

There was no third place......(sigh).

In the meantime, heres some classic memories for anyone who remembers when we had something to be excited about.

You have to believe it's getting better!

2009-04-23T19:00:00.000-07:00

Yeah,....that's me being positive. I THINK it's also a Beatles song as well?...Hmm,..

Tonight was a better turn out for Smartass at Fontana's, which made me look a little better than last week. It's always telling when the bartender asks you how many people you have coming to the game, after telling you all his regulars aren't coming. Luckily, he's mad cool. Jasper would have placed 3rd tonight if he didn't work there and big ups to Team Win who joined in the last round and kicked ass. See ya next week ladies!

TONIGHT'S WINNERS WERE:

1st place- Duo Schmoo's: 490 points

2nd- Fuck Face: 230 points

3rd- We Luv Pizza: 220 points

And now, the greatest band who ever lived doing "Mabelline" by Chuck Berry. Check out YouTube for some awesome clips of this same show!

You take the good with the GREAT!

2009-04-16T19:21:00.000-07:00

Tonight was a bit slow, and I did an AWESOME quiz for tonight too. So it goes. I know everyone can't always make it out every time, but the energy is so much better and so much more fun with a lot of people.

BUT, thats cool, because when I got home, there was an email interview from Lauren at amNY who is doing an article about trivia nights in NYC in my gmail. So, probably lots more people next week!

Does anyone read this blog? If you do, do me a favor and leave a comment so I can judge sorta what the readership is, if any. That'd be good to know too. That way I could start blogging about how awesome David Lee Roth's solo career was, and not get NEAR as much shit for it.

Did I say that out loud?

The winner tonight was: Team NAME with 230 points.

Here's a video of Nina Hagen covering The Sweet's 'Ballroom Blitz' in 1985 before it was cool to like that song.

Great night last night!

2009-04-10T19:15:00.000-07:00

So things are going great at Fontana's. ALTHOUGH, I want to send some good vibes out to Jasper (the talent booker who got me the gig there) as his father this week had a spot of trouble and had to go to the hospital. He's doing well now though, apparently, so thats good. We hope he makes a full recovery.

I also want to send a shout-out to our new Thursday night bartender, Brendan. He knows his rock trivia and has a great time with us. He's a super nice guy too. WE LOVE BRENDAN!

Last nights winners were:

1st place- The Cherry Flavored Shmoo's (surprise there!)-410 points
2nd place:Carsten cut his asshole on a shit diamond (Hmm,...)-360 points
3rd place:The Mothers of the Housing Authority (Justin and Lena!)-330 points

Good times, would love to see more of you next week. (Lookin' at YOU, Cantor)

Remember, happy hour for the first hour, and FREE pizza! Dinner AND a show for nothin'!

Here's an interview with Stevie Nicks when she was on blow in the 80's. Not sure if it will auto launch, but if not just paste this into a window.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuPCUMoDc6M

3rd week and going strong!

2009-04-02T19:34:00.000-07:00

Hey all! Tonight wasn't that well attended but was totally fun! Its great sometimes when just a few people, but the right people, show up and compete. I feel more comfortable throwing in jokes and letting, what little, hair I have, down. The bouncer outside of Fontana's tonight pulled me aside (not a small caucasian man, which had me clearly a lil' nervous) and told me a had great radio voice and that I was great at what I did. This made me proud and took me aback. I used to be sorta conceited about my songwriting ability, but I've had much more recognition for my trivia hosting abilities. As Vonnegut said, "So it goes."

That always makes me feel good. To be good at anything, and get props for it, is a strange thing. You don't notice it, others do.

So, next week, after trivia, I am going to Joe's Pub to see Bob Mould. Who kicks ass! I am also reading Jim Walsh's Replacements bio "All Over But The Shouting". So far, into chapter one, but if you are as big a 'Mats fan as I am, you should jet on over to Barnes and Noble and pick that thing up. If you are cool enough to get the 'Mats that is. Minneapolis is a place I should visit at some point,...in the SUMMER! If you know me, you know I am a huge Prince fan too, and this only makes it more tempting. However, it would be a let down to go and not see Paisley Park in it's entirety.....Aaaaand, I'm babbling.

WINNERS tonight:

Jasper (Fontana's head honcho and my saving grace) TECHNICALLY won with a staggering 320 points. But since he works there, no bar tab for him.

1st: Carstens is Cheating-250 pts

2nd: These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For (awesome name)-220 pts

3: To Hell With Poverty-190pts

Prizes BTW are a $30 bar tab for 1st place, $20 for second, and $10 for third. Which doesn't seem like much, but considering we feed you FREE pizza and you get to hang with Brendan, the nicest bartender I've ever worked with (who will help you out with answers if he likes you), you could do a lot worse on Thursdays 7-9.

Get there next Thursday!

Here's The Plasmatics for no real discernible reason other than they kicks ass.

Come out this Thursday and a video by my friend Lydia Brownfield

2009-03-24T20:16:00.000-07:00

Hey all, come out to Fontana's Thursday night for SMARTASS rock trivia. There is happy hour for the first hour and apparently the bar is springin' for some FREE pizza! Dinner and a show for WAY cheap! You can't beat it with a scarf covered mic stand.

This is a song about our friend Prentiss who is fighting breast cancer, successfully I'm told, down in Houston this next month. Prentiss is a photographer I went to school with at Portfolio Center, she is the closest thing to a sister I have, next to Lydia, and I love them very much and am sending awesome vibes out to Prentiss for her brave struggle. She never gets down and is one of the most positive people I have ever met. She is my heroine and I pray she beats this thing and stays around for a long while.

I'm sure she will.

This is a song Lydia wrote for her and it's awesome.

We're BACK!

2009-03-15T13:40:00.000-07:00

Quick note to let you know SMARTASS is back on! Thursday nights at Fontana's in the LES form 7-9pm, come compete for bar tabs! If anyone is interested in guest DJing, do let me know! More later!

Smartass on hiatus for now.

2009-02-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

Yes, I overstepped, as I am wont to do from time to time. After some much needed time away from NYC (a whole MONTH), the game was annexed to other more available hosts by the club.

At least they agreed not to use the name. Still sorta stings after working hard for a couple of years to build the game. It's fine though, breaks in routine are good.

AND I'm able to make a little more cash now doing what, I apparently, do well.

I hopefully, will return to the rock and roll trivia soon in a bigger and better way. Until then I wish my successors much luck and success. I still host games in Midtown at Mercury Bar on Sundays at 8pm, The Hill in Murray Hill on Mondays at 7pm, Joshua Tree bar on Tuesdays at 8pm, and soon at Buffalo Wild Wings in Brooklyn on Wednesdays for The National Trivia Assoc. (nationaltrivia.com)

Come on out some night, it's a good time too! Will let all 3 of you loyal readers know when Smartass returns! And thanks!!!

I'll be back this week!

2009-01-20T20:59:00.000-08:00

Hi, I've been on "temporary hiatus", which is what most bands call it when they are tired and fed up and feeling lazy and unproductive.

Not "hospitalized due to exhaustion", which is what they call it when one of them has a drug overdose.

I will be back at Piano's next Monday night after a month off so get them brains and livers up to game weight!

Til then, here is a video of Eric Violette, who is the lead singer of the Free Credit Report.com band, and the proof that reality is a whole lot weirder than fiction. Enjoy. (Yes, he wrote this.)

Kanye on SNL

2008-12-13T22:06:00.000-08:00

Are you FUCKING kidding me??! Why does ANYONE in the realm of music put up with this shit??? Forget that it isn't rock and roll, forget that it's a blatant rip of of Bjork...shit, forget he has ZERO talent.

Sad fact is, that man has NO talent. Nothing. Not a producer, not a performer, not a rapper. Nothing hip-hop or rock here folks. Just move along.

Fuck you Lorne Michaels, just fuck you.

(BTW, how the fuck do you spell your first name anyway)?!

Read the post below first, as this is a PS (that means post-script)

2008-12-08T20:58:00.000-08:00

This is when eMpTVee was last relevant, when they used to cover important bands and went to shows to talk to fans.

I like mine scrambled...with goat cheddar.

2008-12-08T20:27:00.000-08:00

I've been to Stinky in Brooklyn way too much lately. (GO, they have the best cheeses in the world, we had an amazing French Taleggio this week from there that had a name that, I swear, was ALMOST pronounced 'Tom Cruise', but is,..oh, hell just ask for the Tom Cruise, they'll know). Shit...this has fuck all to do with trivia or rock.

I'm 'blogging' again. I swore I wouldn't do that. But, DO go to Stinky, Patrick the owner is an amazingly sweet person.

The winners tonight were:

"I WAN'T EGGS" (Named after what some fighter said after being given smelling salts after being knocked out by Muhammed Ali. They also tied twice and won both times. Congrats.)

And here is a true rock and roll moment. Westerberg being serious (for once) with an amazing performance of my fav 'Mats song 'Answering Machine'. Cheers!

Congradulations Schmoo's and...Steve Perry?

2008-11-17T20:15:00.000-08:00

I say that because The Schmoo's swept the game tonight..(no surprise there). I also say that because one of the questions tonight was about the fact that Journey's "Don't Stop Believing'', this week, was announced as the most downloaded track on iTunes. Look it up, I'm also too lazy to provide a link (besides, that's just a lame blogger thing and I'm not a lame blogger. I expect you to explore this thing on your own so you'll find something out for yourselves, but I digress).

The best info I could pull up was that the song was written by Cain (Jonathan, keys) "P" (I assume that means Steve PERRY, get back to that later) and "S" (meaning Neil SCHON, guitarist and founder).

All amazing musician's in their own rights, but, as I understand, being a musician of many years myself, that the dollars and cents of writing that song goes to Steve Perry because if you write the lyrics and melody, you wrote that song....Which I, personally, feel is bull-SHEEIAT! I mean, sure, there was a lot that went into coming up with those great lyrics and the melody we all love so much, but, there was also a keyboardist or guitarist who ORIGINALLY came up with the riff that would eventually become that song and I feel THEY should get the most residuals for the effort. Would Steve Perry have ever written those goodies without being given the music first??

I think not. Knowing what I know.

So, congrats to the folks, all of them, that give us these gifts, but consider that theres prolly a lonely guitarist in a bedrooom writing the next "Don't Stop Believing'" and he will prolly have to not only eat a ton of Ramen before it becomes a hit, but will never get the correct props on the innernets for having crafted such a brilliant song.

Eh...I might be wrong, but I doubt it.

/end of rant.

The Great Rock and Roll Swindle

2008-11-10T21:25:00.000-08:00

So , there it is. You guys thought it didn't exsist? Well, some of you know the difference now, yeah?. SEE this film if you don't know anything about the music biz. It will teach you all!

So, GREAT crowd tonight, given it WAS a holiday night (even though I don't think there were to many vets from wars) everyone is in a better mood these days,...I only wonder why. Hmm, beeecuase we have a REAL president?? Ooopps, there I go getting all political again. It's only,..beenaweeksincewegotarealpresident,....damn,..I'll stop..

The Cherry Flavored Schmoos ruled the roost again tonight, like always. I'm actually surprised they haven't gone on to form their own higher advanced game,...that I would lose.

The scores:

ROUND 1: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS
ROUND 2: TEAM VLADMIR
ROUND 3: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

I REALLY appreciate everyone showing up tonight. Makes me think the night would be more popular if it was on a night that didn't require you be in bed before 10pm.

Been away for awhile,..here's some news.

2008-10-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

So, clearly, I'm not one to blog so much. And thats ok. We all have a life. Sometimes that life takes priority over certain things, like this blog. So, here's whats up"

- SMARTASS has been going strong the whole time and we pleased as punch.
- Conrad is no longer with us as of this week. He is moving on and we wish him well.
- The new co-host, AC/Lecy has been rocking it hardcore AND old school for the past couple of weeks and everyone is happier for it.
- I will be trying my best to get more back into music as a participant and less as a by-stander. Look for new stuff I'll be involved in with my friend Lydia Brownfield. Google her, she's awesome.
- I have not quit smoking,...contrary to popular belief. Actually, no one would believe that anyway,..so..

There's been new life infused into SMARTASS, so come out next Monday night to Piano's upstairs at 8pm and see the new deal.

Todd

FINALLY! I hope this is true!

2008-03-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

According to a post on The Velvet Rope.com (my old and constant hangout) R.E.M. is coming out with a new rekkid in April that harkens back to their earlier days when "Emo" wasn't a genre but if it was,it meant you were in a band from Athens and you were actually capeable of putting your songs to tape and no Pro-Tools tricks. OR, that you were "talented". Does anyone remember talent?

Whatever, I'm just way amped about a new R.E.M. record and especially if it's a departure from the crap they've been phoning in since Bill Berry left. Yeah, yeah, I know, they've been more 'experimental'. Whatever, leave that shit to Thom and Jonny. I heard comparisons to Let's Active and Guadalcanal Diary, SOLD!

BTW, kids, look those two bands up, it's worth it! BTW, NPR.org has this SXSW show on their media player, look for it, I'm listening right now and it's pretty damn good.

WINNERS THIS WEEK WERE:

ROUNDS 1,2,3- THE UNHOLY SCHMOOS
4. (UPSETTING THE SWEEP) TEAM SHOOP

Back to the show!

When you're having more than one!

2008-03-15T05:04:00.000-07:00

The winners this week were: The Unholy Schmoos

Swept the night. Try and beat 'em. I dare ya!

An open letter to Mick Jagger by my friend Meli Georgiades OR Hey Man, I Can’t Get No Satisfaction Either

2008-03-04T08:18:00.000-08:00

Oh Mick-

I’m all for sex. Really, I am.

But I do have a problem with guys who use their music to get laid and then lie about it. It’s a matter of artistic integrity….

And that’s why I have a bone to pick with you Mr. Mick Jagger. Yes, I have a problem with you and the song that brought you, a huge British rock star, to the top of the American charts as well. You know what I’m talking about- “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction.”

You have always acted like that song is an attack on the status quo, with references to sex, of course, but you always highlight the so-called anti-commercialism verses as just as important. A lovely little social commentary isn’t it…

Fess up. We all know what you were really trying to say to the American chicks. I would put it as something like this: “I’m not getting enough. Please help!” Do you really expect us to believe that in 1965 as a British rock star with four American tours under your belt you were really having any problems getting that belt off? In 1965 no less- American girls were giving it up gladly, and to you- gratefully.

Here’s the dead giveaway: You changed a line in the third chorus from “I can’t get no satisfaction” to “I can’t get no [?]” I’ve always thought that lyric was “I can’t get no girly action” and read that its actually “girl with action” or “girl reaction”. It’s the most telling lyric of the song however you hear it because it’s the only line that no one would really believe. Dare I call it a blatant lie?

But when I looked up the lyrics on the official Rolling Stones website, that lyric was mysteriously missing. Why wouldn’t you include it? Are you hiding it from us? We have ears; that’s why we love you in the first place.

Your song reminds me of the gimmick that some assholes use to get laid- the one where they pretend to be gay, so they can play to a girls ego and say “Oh baby- you’re the one that turned me. I didn’t know it could be so good!”

Well “Satisfaction” is kinda like that. You’re pretending like you’re not getting enough, and what you are getting is not enough to satisfy you. It’s a challenge to your female fans’ egos. All of a sudden everyone wanted to be the one to satisfy you Mick.

Actually, I wish I wrote “Satisfaction”. Because coming from me or one of my chick friends it could actually be true. We’re young and we’re hot as hell but do you think the men we let in are getting the job done? Most of them don’t care and it seems like the rest honestly don’t know how.

Maybe you and I are the same then. Because I can’t get no satisfaction either, man.

So congratulations, Mick. “Satisfaction” made you a ton of cash and a huge rock star, but it also made you a misogynist pig.

Deepest congratulations,

Meli

Go on, girl.

Last nights winners were:
Round 1-TBA
Round 2: The Unholy Schmoos
Round 3: The Unholy Schmoos

And I don't care what you think, Van Halen IS yacht rock.

Hi,...erm,...sorry.

2008-02-19T20:54:00.001-08:00

Hi, I'm so sorry I haven't called you, I've been SO busy! If I had a dime for everytime I've ever heard that one. No posts in awhile because I am lazy and hung over on Tuesdays but I'm going to resolve that and try to do better, ok?

Tomorrow a ex-girlfriend of mine is coming into town and she was particularly formative in my taste in music when I was younger. She knew how to bang her head against the punk rock and I was trying to shed that awful flannel that was sticking to me. I was a project. Sorta like Penny Lane thought Russell was a project in 'Almost Famous'? It's a long story.

She taught me about indie rock and changed my mind on somethings I didn't even realized I didn't understand. I learned a lot and am grateful for having my eyes opened.

Oh, she's also pretty crazy. It's going to be interesting.

LAST NIGHTS WINNERS WERE:

ROUND 1: THE SHITTY TEMPLE OF THE DOG
ROUND 2: THE UNHOLY TRINITY
ROUND 3: THE UNHOLY TRINITY

And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the funniest man in show business today, and Will Ferrel, enjoy.

I'm SO mean.

2008-01-15T09:42:00.000-08:00

Sorry about last night. I know I got a little out of hand. I understand that when I make a hard trivia round, some of you that are less knowledgeable than some will not enjoy it as much. I acknowledge that some of you were listening to Mariah Carey instead of The Pixies or The Replacements in the late 80's. I will acquiesce that you probably listened to Boys II Men maybe less so than say, Pavement or Afghan Whigs in the 90's. I'll even concede that you might know who these bands are, but just not THAT much about them and well, this might suck for you a little bit, and what are YOU Mr. Trivia host going to do to comfort and allow me to cheaply drink myself into oblivion because my friend at work told me I'd be awesome at this?

Nothing. Man up. This is music trivia, not music common knowledge. It's called 'Smart'ass for a reason. Thus the competitive part. End of rant.

Last nights winners were:

ROUND 1: Team Win (one girl, never seen her before, 100 points out of a possible 110)
ROUND 2: The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
ROUND 3: The Shitty The Band

Thanks to all that came out last night! Look for a story about us in Time Out this week or next!

Or this one...

2008-01-09T11:02:00.001-08:00

First game of the year

2008-01-09T10:29:00.000-08:00

Happy new year! Mondays game was a scream. I got a few compliments on my djing skeels, which is always a good feeling. Played alot of B sides and rare things that are from bands you would recognize normally, but not the songs playing. Like for example, "The Diary of Horace Wimp" off ELO's Discovery album. It's like Mr. Blue Sky pt. 2, awesome tune. I love deep tracks, there really is no better feeling than to discover a song on a record thats like, the 8th track on the album, might not have this MONSTER chorus that would have made it a hit, but YOU like it better than anything in the world. It's the same thrill you get when you find a new band no one knows about or a rare record find. Good stuff!

So, we're going to be in Time Out NY next week. They're doing a piece on trivia games around the city. Thats a great thing, I wish I could play more. I need to find a good game somewhere besides my own. Got to support the scene, dude! We trivia host gotta look out for each other! We're so underappreciated.

I also wanted to adress something my Time Out interviewer said about how either the Unholy Trinity or The Cherry Flavored Schmoos always won the games. Well, no, they don't always win. They DO win alot because they are good, very good, but there are certainly times when some completely new teams will show up and run thangs. It's always very cool.

That said, this weeks winners were:

ROUND 1: THE UNHOLY TRINITY
ROUND 2: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOO'S
ROUND 3: THE UNHOLY TRINITY

Yeah,...

Soberly

2007-11-27T11:26:00.000-08:00

Ya gotta wonder, would Janis Joplin REALLY have gone onto great things if she hadn't crawled into that bottle of Southern Comfort? Would Kurt Cobain actually have gone onto write better and bigger records? Or would he have ended up like Gibby Haynes, living in Red Hook, bumbling around the streets with his dog mumbling to himself about glory days gone by, sober?

Can a rockstar be clean and be a rockstar? And did they peak early on regardless of their vices? Now theres a REAL opinion question for you dear reader. I'm not so sure.

While the drop and the drug will sap some of their creative spark, some thrive upon them and can't create without. Guess we'll never know, because they're dead, and we're still here, wondering.

Ehh, sorry for the bummer, just typing out loud...

LAST NIGHTS WINNERS WERE:

THE CHERRY FLAVOURED SCHMOOS, SWEPT THE NIGHT.

Apologies to The Unholy Trinity, who have been kicking ass for the last couple of weeks.

Thursday night, The Jones Street Boys and Goes Cube will appear at Union Hall in Park Slope and it's going to rock like the proverbial hurricane and you should go!

The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy blogger

2007-10-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

Hi, so firstly, many MANY apologies to The Unholy Trinity for my failure to post their triumphant sweep of last weeks game. They made it happen and can cure cancer and always have a shiny golden glow around them and smell quite good too.

There Adam, ya happy?

Also, thanks to Justin Martin of PBR for sponsoring us and bringing us lots of great PBR and PBR products for prizes, mucho gracias!

Tonight, the Forms record release is at Cakeshop. Why should you go? Well, there will be open bar, and a free CD with admission and the best reason to go is that The Forms are playing, and they will rip your head open and stuff a metric assload of rock into it, sew it back up, powder your bum, and send you away humming the best music in the world, thats why. Oh, and theres an open bar. Doors are at 8pm, see you there!

Also, the Jones Street Boys are playing at Bowery Ballroom. Not going to make that because I'll be having my head ripped open and stuffed with Forms rock, but if you like great Blue-Grass pop music, you're in for a treat!

Last nights winners were:

ROUND 1: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

ROUND 2: THE SCHMOOS AGAIN!

ROUND 3: THE UNHOLY TRINITY, UPSETTING A SCHMOOS SWEEP.

I'm pretty sure we'll have a very special guest host next week, will let you know more later.

Brooklyn invaded Manhattan last night

2007-10-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

Hello dear readers,..all two of you. Last night was the usual blast at Pianos. I wasn't actually thinking of making it because I was going to go see The National at Highline last night, but decided to be true to my own night and I'm glad I did. My Brooklyn peeps from Gowanus Yacht Club in Carroll Gardens came out to represent and a lot of other people I'd never seen at trivia before. Nice!

Since the Unholy Trinity and The Schmoos took the night off to support the National boys, the playing field was pretty level. Except for the Cinderella story that lie in wait in the far corner who swept the night. Oh, also Alex Forms and Jen Gothamist brought the singer from Ghostland Observatory who told me he had a blast at trivia, later at Darkroom. Nice kid. Check them out on Conan tonight. Jesus, I went to 7 bars last night. Shit,...thats fucked up, Donnie!

Last nights winners were:

Sweeping the night- BOINKING YOUR SISTER

Nice job guys, thank you and drive thru.

Guns and Poses

2007-10-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

Well, thats what we used to call 'em anyway. Why did people freak out about this band so much? Was it the top hat? The bad boy image? Honestly, just about every rock band I've ever met worth their salt has had a drug problem/girl trouble/dysfunction, etc. What made those guys so special? My opinoion question last night was most annoying voice in metal and the answer was Axl Rose. Now, I got alot of huffing and puffing over that one (except Alex Tween from The Forms, because he's smart like me) and I gotta take issue with that. What the fuck was so great about that guy? I swear he wore that bandana to keep his ego from spilling out, WHY I have no idea because he couldn't really sing that well. Ripped his moves off from Davy Jones from the Monkees (dude, get a REAL idol, please..) and had a half way decent band behind him. Anyway, for my money, I thought David Lee Roth was much more entertaining, even if he wasn't that great of a singer, I have a feeling he'd tell Axl to stop whinning (literally and figurativly) and try and cheer up.

Don't even get me started on Chinese Democracy. 'Yes Axl, we all wait with baited breath for that turd to drop.' Eeesh..

So I got lazy and forgot to post last weeks' winners so here they are first:

ROUND 1- THE UNHOLY DUO

ROUND 2- KA-KA-KA-KA-KOW

ROUND 3- THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

Last NIGHTS' winners were:

ROUND 1- THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

ROUND 2- THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

ROUND 3- THE UNHOLY DUO

Stalk ya later!

Weird

2007-09-24T05:52:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night that I was at a sex club auditioning for a job. Only because attached to the sex club was an amazing studio I could record in for free if I was employed there. The lady running the place was a real ball buster too. I ended up not taking the job in my dream. Come out to trivia tonight and make sure I'm ok...

If theres a hipster heaven, they're going to have a hell of a band OR My night in hell.

2007-09-18T10:49:00.000-07:00

So, I went to see Interpol Friday night at Madison Sq. Garden. Typically I hate to see shows there as the sound is usually all over the place although, ironically, the best sounding show ever was Radiohead at MSG in 2001, but I digress. I missed the Liars, not that I cared much, not a fan of their bizarre cacophony. Caught an underwhelming Cat Power set with her band, the Dirty Delta Blues band. The only dirty thing a saw was their hair but maybe I was too far away. I dunno.. Then the black clad boys joined the fray from behind a 50ft tall scrim that was supposed to come down much earlier than it did.

A friend saw something poetic in that. I thought about it some more and they were right.

I mean, their brand of Kraut influenced rock has always been delivered from behind some veil of insecurity and snotty apathy. Not to say I don't enjoy some snotty apathy, I do, but when it finally went down and we could see them better, those kids seemed to be having a good time up there. I swore I even saw Carlos crack a smile, or what would pass for one, a couple of times. There also seems to be a new love for groove and what some might call a more pedestrian sense of melody in that you find yourself humming along more than usual. I like that. Good for them. Maybe they're cheering up in their, uhh, mid to upper 20's??

Speaking of hipsters, Thurston Moore put out a solo record today. It's supposed to be good, lemme know what you think.

LAST NIGHTS WINNERS WERE:

1. THE UNHOLY FLAVORED SCHMOOS
2. CMG- New comers, nice guys!
3. THE UNHOLY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

OH, btw, whoever asked about that country rock book I'm reading, it's called 'Are You Ready For The Country' and I can't remember who the author is but I'll look around for it and let you know.

Thats all for now dear readers, stalk ya later!

Heah's ya beah!!

2007-09-11T07:16:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about country music alot lately, been reading a book on the connection of it to rock, and I'm becoming much more interested in it. There was a time when I'd rather listen to hipsters talk about how much better the Elephant 6 collective used to be as opposed to today or how awesome MisShapes this week (seriously, if you ever hear me speaking about either one, hang me without benefit of trial and dump my sad ass in the Hudson) than country music, but old school stuff s not so bad. And screw you if you don't like the Eagles. I do. You know, rocks' beloved Bob Dylan was through, done, put a fork in Bob he's over. That is until Jonny Cash insisted he come to Nashville and be on his weekly TV show,...and play electric. Folkies actually wretched in the streets, but the rest of the country forgave Bob, liked the new direction and thus an icon was born. So, the couple of you who hate on country music, be a bit more open minded like all NYers are supposed to be. Oh, yeah and one more thing, all you NYC'ers who slag on the South about how dumb we are, and backwards, et al, just remember, blues and country came from the South, no country, no rock. No backward-ass rednecks, no Elephant 6 collective,...er, wait, Elephant 6 is from Athens GA!! There you have it.

Ugh,..I'm not making any sense am I?? Heres the winners from last night:

THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS SWEPT THE NIGHT, WINNING ALL 3 ROUNDS.

Go buy the new Forms record, it's awesome! Stay tuned for Hipster Olympics!!

No trivia tonight!

2007-09-03T20:17:00.000-07:00

Sorry if you showed up anyway. Next week we're back so come out!!!

Rock stars hang out with other rock stars

2007-08-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

What an amazing night, truly. Last night Scott and Brian Devendorff of The National guest hosted with Conrad and I. And as a bonus, they brought a suprise in tow; Ms. Nicole Atkins. Beat that shit! You can't. Not with a 50 foot mic stand. Even kicked it off with a Bon Jovi question, Mmm,Mmm,Mmm. She's like, the nicest person in the world AND from Neptune NJ, close to my hometown of Long Branch,NJ. Just awesome. She's playing at Bowery Ballroom Rocktober the 12th, you should go. Oh and The National play Terminal 5 on the 11th of that month as well. Two badass shows back to back. I can't thank them enough for helping out last night, you are my heroes!

Go hear them respectivly at:

Nicole Atkins-http://nicoleatkins.com

The National- http://americanmary.com

Also there last night was Aaron Dessner of The National and members of The Forms, The New Pornographers and Grizzly Bear to boot! Lots of good competition and high scores last night.

Winners:
ROUNDS 1 & 2- THE NEW CRUSADERS (AARON DESSNER OF THE NATIONAL, CARL NEWMAN OF THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS AND CRISSY....WELL, EVERYONE KNOWS CRISSY, YEAH?)

ROUND 3- THE LANCELOTS OIF ROCK TRIVIA, THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

We're working on some special upcoming co-hosts, stay tuned, this should be good.

Also, we'll probably take next week off for Labor Day. Theres just too many good outdoor shows to see.

AND, we might be making some Brooklyn stops, theres talk of having SmartAss at the Gowanus Yacht Club when they start up trivia soon, that would be interesting. You guys wanna do this outside in a beer garden?? We'll see what the Pianos peeps say and get back to ya.

2007-08-27T07:02:00.000-07:00

Amy Winehouse is stable.

Wha Wha What??!

2007-08-21T11:07:00.000-07:00

Damn good game last night everyone! We had special guest hosts, Oliver, Ruthie, John and Sandy of the band Wha Wha Where? They did an awesome job and brought in a great round. Applause, applause.

Anyone catch our interview on Gothamist.com? You can see it here: http://gothamist.com/2007/08/20/todd_satterfiel.php

Here's last nights winners!

ROUND 1- (TECHNICAL WIN- PIANOS STAFF) DRINK WINNERS- FUGAZI OSBOURNE
ROUND 2- THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS
ROUND 3- (TECHNICAL WIN- PIANOS STAFF) DRINK WINNERS- FUGAZI OSBOURNE

Congrats to newcomers Fugazi Osbourne for almost sweeping. Let's hope they come back next week and kick more ass!

Speaking of next week, Brian Devendorf and one of his other co-members of The National will guest host. Don't miss it!

OH, send in those YouTube clips of rock goodness!!

Kurt Cobain and Courtney Cobain with Frances Bean Cobain

2007-08-15T16:19:00.001-07:00

This kid turns 16 in three days. Fellin' old? I am.

Sid Vicious Interview

2007-08-15T16:17:00.001-07:00

Priceless...

Accolades and acknowledgments

2007-08-14T08:46:00.000-07:00

SmartAss got a best of the borough award from Our Town newspaper this week, came in the mail at Pianos for me (Thanks Billy from Other Passengers, awesome band!) and we also got a write up in the New York Press. People startin' to rek'onize.

Look for an interview on Gothamist.com very soon.

Last nights winners,....we're not suprising.

ROUND 1- THE UNHOLY TRINITY
ROUND 2- CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOZE
ROUND 3- THE UNHOLY TRINITY

Don't forget, The National and The Forms and Takka Takka this Friday at 6pm at the S. Street seaport, fo' FREE!

See ya'll next week!

Flight Of The Conchords - Bowie Song

2007-08-07T07:25:00.001-07:00

Soup du jour,..Jaques Cousteau,..Baugette!

2007-08-07T05:57:00.000-07:00

Those of you who get that, know how funny Flight of the Conchords was this week,..eh,..w-what? You don't watch the show?? Well, you sir or madam are missing out. Two folk songwriters from New Zealand in NYC, trying to pick up girls? It's pretty much awesome, and certainly hilarious. At anytime they can break into songs and they're always the funniest thing you ever heard. This week, while buying crossants they broke out into this 60's, Serge Gainbourg, type stuff. Funny stuff. And they filmed the sequence in my old front yard in Greenpoint, MaGorlick park. Look them up on YouTube. Check out the 'Bowie song'.

UNLIKE Henry Rollins who USED to be funny, well, actually first he was angry and punk and hardcore, then he was funny in the spoken word shows he did, and now? Well, he's,..Johnny Carson. The Henry Rollins show (on IFC Friday at 10pm) can be funny and he has good guests, but, I'm just not sure I buy all the glad handing and ass kissing, it's just not the Rollins I grew up with. Guess it beats watching him play another cop/henchman/security guard...

LAST NIGHTS WINNERS WERE:

UNHOLY TRINITY SWEPT THE NIGHT! Nice,..

I know it's the dog days and everyones away, but we need to get some more peeps down to the game. Tell friends, let them know that they will get at least one right if they are the shy types who say "Oh, I'll never win, I'm not even going to play.."

And so we say thanks!

2007-07-31T10:56:00.000-07:00

To Amy Slonaker for co-hosting the past two weeks. She did a great job and asked some tough ones. Also thanks to http://misswit.net for the free t-shirts, one of which was a grand prize for round 3. Go to her site for so cool tees!

Conrad should be back next week.

Heres last nights winners!

ROUND 1- LEXILITO
ROIUND2- LEXILITO
ROUND 3- (TECH) PIANOS PALS, (DRINK WINNERS) THE UNHOLY TRINITY

Congrats all! See you next week!

A Reminder

2007-07-24T06:51:00.000-07:00

Good times last night, we had Miss Amy Slonaker (she Dj's alot over at Lolita bar) to guest. She did a bang up job in Conrads abscence. Conrd s band, Takka Takka played the Mercury last night. If all goes well, she'll be back next week to sub for busy Conrad.

Amy had a question last night about Man or Astroman that brought back some memories. Man or Astroman are from Atlanta, where I lived for many years before coming to NYC. I was there for 8 great years in the 90's and while Seattle was all broody and sad, there was an amazing music scene that got overlooked in the SouthEast that was much more healthy and positive. I went to SO many of these shows and have notes books filled with reviews I did just to write (I was big into Lester Bangs back then). Some bands in that scene you may or probably haven't heard of were: Long Flat Red, Babyfat, Five Eight, Loudflower, Drive By Truckers, Flat Duo Jets, Carmine, Cat Power, the list goes on. It's a shame that some of those bands never got the attention they deserved. Look some of 'em up, especially Five Eight, they're still kickin' like a Bruce Lee flick.

Here's last nights winners:

WELL, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF TWO TECHNICAL WINS BY THE PIANOS STAFF IN THE LAST TWO ROUNDS, THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOO'S SWEPT THE NIGHT. END OF STORY.

WAY TO PUT THAT USELESS INFO TO WORK GUYS!

Sorry there was no post last week, Conrad was supposed to do it but he fell asleep.

My ice cream is melting..

2007-07-10T05:41:00.000-07:00

So's my brain, and everything else. Is it hot in here or is it just me?? Summer got here last night around 11:30 and it's pissed. It wants it's CD's back and custody of the dog.

SmartAss was a hoot as usual last night, we went a bit easier on you last night because it is so dizzingly hot outside. Don't want to warp your young minds too bad. Here's how it went:

1ST ROUND: THE FREUDIAN SLIPS

2ND ROUND: THE FREUDIAN SLIPS

3RD ROUND: A TIE- THE UNHOLY TRINITY AND THE GAZILLIONAIRE RUDDY HUDSUCKERS (HUDSUCKERS TOOK IT, NICE!)

Remember folks, don't raise your hands in a tie before the question is answered, it could cost you a free drink.

Just 12 more hours til HP and The Order Of The Phoenix comes out!!!

Sicko

2007-07-04T15:25:00.000-07:00

Just saw Sicko, it was an eye-opener.

If you:
-Don't know much about our country's health care system.
-Want to know more.
-Don't mind being pretty pissed off at what you find out.
-Ever secretly wandered what was so great about France and why our government talks so much smack about them.

This is the movie for you.

Its a commutation..

2007-07-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

That means I have to pay a $250,000 fine and have two years probation,..IF I decide to take the fall for allowing the outing of a CIA agent. Sorry, those spooks stay a secret, I can't afford it. But, you know, Scooter can.

Personally, I think Bush just felt bad for the guy. You don't send a guy named 'Scooter' to prison. Whats this got to do with rock trivia??? Nothing.

WINNERS FROM LAST NIGHT:

1ST ROUND: KYOTO 5-0

2ND ROUND: THE UNHOLY TRINITY

3RD: (TECHNICAL-PIANOS STAFF) DRINK WINNERS: THE CHERRY FLAVORED SCHMOOS

More later...

We go solo, dance flo's and talk shows, hot sex in back rows, you know..

2007-06-26T06:10:00.000-07:00

Last night I hosted all on my own. First time in awhile and I gotta say it was pretty fun. Not that I don't enjoy Conrads game or anything but it was a nice change of pace. Sorry about being so precious about repeating questions but it does get a bit taxing and you want to make sure everyones paying attention. Drunk people tend to wander, me included.

We also previewed some tracks ('Pioneer To The Falls' and 'Heinrich Manuever') from a certain black-clad, Brooklyn band who has a new album coing out to, suprisingly, a lukewarm response. But you know, I like 'em and it's only neo-punk rock and roll. I actually think Paul Banks sounds quite well on the new offering 'Our Love To Admire'. I dare say I would have been much more impressed with this record as a debut album. But thats just me. I do wish Carlos would stop dressing as close to a Nazi as he can get away with. Tsk, tsk.

I got heckled for having questions that were too hard again last night. I keep tellin' you people, it's not called rock common knowledge, it's called rock TRIVIA. If you don't know all the answers then I'm doing my job correctly.

Last nights winners were:

1ST ROUND: TIE: PIANO'S PALS AND THE UNHOLY TRINITY WITH UNHOLY TAKING THE DRINKS.

2ND ROUND: THE CHERRY FLOVORED SCHMOO'S

3RD ROUND: THE UNHOLY TRINITY

Well done guys.

Last nights playlist was:
2 Minutes to Midnight-Iron Maiden
Gonna Never Have To Die-Guided By Voices
Tell It Like It Is-Graham Coxon
Pump Up The Volume-Art Brut
Pioneer To The Falls-Interpol
The King Is Half-Undressed- Jellyfish
Any Way You Want It-Journey
Over My Head-King's X
Houses Of The Holy-Led Zeppelin
Big Tall Man-Liz Phair
Traces-Lydia Brownfield
Words-The Monkees
Suddenly Last Summer-The Motels
What A Bore-Muzzle
The Heinrich Maneuver-Interpol
(When You Wake) You're Still in a Dream-My Bloody Valentine
Give 'Em Hell, Kid-My Chemical Romance
Hey Ya-Outkast
Canary in a Coal Mine-The Police
Housequake-Prince
Texarkana -R.E.M.
Carbon Paper-Raising The Fawn
Disarm-Smashing Pumpkins
Another Nail in My Heart- Squeeze
Trippin' On A Hole In A Paper Heart-Stone Temple Pilots
Black Swan-Thom Yorke
Shot In The Arm-Wilco

There were some pics taken last night, if I get 'em I'll post 'em later.

Neil Armstrong: "I was walking on the moon one day, in the very merry month of July..."

Kareoke killed Def Leppard

2007-06-19T09:12:00.000-07:00

If you weren't at SmartAss last night, you missed the Karoke kids butcher 'Pour Some Sugar On Me'.

Believe me when I tell you, it was a worthwhile stay at KKTC last night.

I like Def Leppard just fine. Lots of people are somehow above Def Leppard. Never understood why people take offense to a well crafted pop song. Hmm,.. When I was a kid, they made some tasty pop songs and were slightly less dangerous than the Iron Maiden I was about to emerse myself in, and somehow slightly more dangerous than the Van Halen I'd been wallowing in since 1984. What with the swords and other standard metal trappings.

But for a short time, I too wondered what "Guter Gleeben, Glauten, Globen" meant. Apparently, it means nothing. Which pretty much sums up thier careers at this point. Pour guys,..

THE WINNERS FROM LAST MIGHT:

ROUND 1:
THE GOON SQUAD

ROUND 2:
THE GOON SQUAD (ONE GUY, SAT BY HIMSELF, ATE A BURGER, RULED AT TRIVIA AND LEFT. COMPLETE BADASS).

ROUND 3:
THE UNHOLY TRINITY

Today June 16th 2007, is the tenth anniversary of the release of Radioheads "OK COMPUTER".

Adam: "Maybe you should slow down."
Me: "Yeah.."

Ahoy smooth rockers

2007-06-12T07:02:00.000-07:00

It occurred to me last night, as I listened, really listened to Toto's 'Rosanna' at last nights SmartAss (We did a Yacht Rock theme for a couple rounds last night), that they really do create some magic.

Now, now, hear me out because I can FEEL your eyes roll.

It's not even about hearing the music, it's about watching a crowd of people react to a bonifide hit. 'Rosanna' WAS a hit, theres no doubt, I don't even know the chart position it reached (look it up, key-junkies), but the look on some of the faces last night as they slid into keyboard and guitar solo's was bliss!

BLISS, I saw it! I know bliss when I see it.

So, you can keep your band-du-jour (who is it this week? Interpol's coming out with a new one soon...The Horrors? Eeeesh, apt name, BUT, nice boys, nothing personal guys!) but I'll take a good guilty pleasure pop song anyday. And really, if you dig it, is it fair to claim guilt? Fuck your built-in-NYC-Bedford Ave-for the lova God-why-did-the-trucker-hat-have-to-go hipster sensibilities. You just keep bobing your head to 'Rosanna' and enjoy. Forget about the fact that these guys would have NEVER gotten signed in todays music biz. Just keep in mind it was written about a very pretty girl, heart-felt, and got to the top 10 and you like it. Really, thats all that matters.

OH, almost forgot, we want to thank the Maack family who came in all the way from ICELAND, (not for us; for Karoke Killed The Cat) but had a good time with us as well. Welcome to America, Icelanders!

Here's last nights winners:

1ST ROUND: Our trivia Lancelots, The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's

2ND ROUND: TIE between The Unholy Trinity and The Schmoo's

3RD: Again with The Schmoo's...

My friend Beth wanted me to post the yacht rock setlist from last night, it was:

I'm Alright (Theme from Caddyshack)
Hold the Line Toto
Life In the Fast Lane Eagles
Ride Like the Wind Christopher Cross
Baker Street Gerry Rafferty
Rosanna Toto
Angry Eyes Loggins & Messina
Don't Fight It Kenny Loggins (w/ Steve FUCKING Perry!! DLed it NOW!!)
Any Way You Want It Journey
Top Jimmy Van Halen
FM Steely Dan
Carry On Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young
Private Eyes Daryl Hall & John Oates

Put THAT in yer book, Sarah.

Hey, The National are out on the road, if you are reading this from a city they will be frequenting, do yourself a favor and go see them.

Me (walking into the comedy show last night): "Hey man, ..Dude, is that Louis CK up there??"

Dimitri Martin: "Yeah,....."

Me: ".......(to myself) "Shit,...Thats Dimitri Martin..I just called him "Dude".."

New blood

2007-06-05T12:54:00.001-07:00

Last night was Conrad's debut at trivia as my new partner and what an awesome job he did! Great questions and vibe. Lots of fun.

So, I just don't have any good stories this week. I will say I am very disappointed that, lately, if you want to see a great show you have to damn near take out a loan to score tickets. I'd love to go see the Police but I don't even have a first born to give. And at $500 for decent seats, well..fuck that.

Last night, The Unholy Trinity swept the night. Awesome, just awesome.
(Although, technically, I won the first round and Piano's the last, but since we're not eligible for prizes..)

Anyone got a Police ticket they don't want??

Princes' understudies...

2007-05-22T05:46:00.000-07:00

Last nights opinion question was who was Pinces' hottest female protogee. The 10 point was Vanity, mainly because I've always been facinated by her and thats my opinion. Lot's of people chose Applonia Kotero, which is completely understandable and was certainly worth 5 points. Hell, maybe I'm wrong, maybe she was hottest, but then, Carmen Electra (who's last name Prince bestowed on her) was also one of the harum.

But, I digress.

Vanity was #1 muse because she was from New Orleans, not particularly jaw dropping, and sorta talented and had wild sex and crack binge's with Nikki Sixx. Ass opposed to just being eye candy like most of the others, (Kim Bassinger, please pick up the "Man, I wish I could sing" courtesy phone). And, I find that amusing.

Last nights winners were:

ROUND 1:
(Technical- Piano's Staff) drink winners- Kansanadia

ROUND 2:
I Can't Believe It's Not Todd

ROUND 3:
(Technical- Piano's Staff) drink winners- Glasses Are Cool

Only 1 week til The National residence at Bowery, til then the boys are in Europe eating worse food and drinking better wine.

Jon Stewart is funny,...no really!

2007-05-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

Damn, we had a great time last night! I'm sitting on my couch, half dressed, eating omelette, and watching a Jon Stewart stand-up from 1996. 1996 was a great year, Oasis was poppin' Blur was still relevant, I had met a great girl in Atlanta where I was going to ad school and life was good. It sucks to grow up. Really does.

Aaaaanyway, the usual suspects cleaned up last night but you know what, there are some definite up and comers in the works that are kicking ass lately (looking at you Air Force 1 and 2!).

Heres the winners from last night:

1st round: (Technical win: Pianos Staff) Drink winners: The Schmoo (there would be only one for the first round, and she took it!)
2nd round: Glasses are Cool
3rd round: The Schmoos

We really would like to get some new blood in to knock these guys out of the winners circle. And thats in the works, more later.

The Smiths, etc..

2007-05-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

Ok, so about two years ago I started liking The Smiths. Before, I hated them, really didn't get it. I thought they were ok songwriters, with and average singer with his whole "am I gay, am I not, I look like an Irish Elvis" schtick,...personally I thought it was bullshit. BUT, I have seen the light and finally, 20 years later "got it". Shoplifters of the World, Sheila Takes a Bow, etc,..BRILLIANT! Yay for fucking me, right? I'm a moron, right? No, THIS guy is a moron. This guy is the OTHER side of that whole thing. Here is a factoid, that was posed as a question last night.

In 1987, some guy held up a radio station in Denver, CO for 5 HOURS and demanded they play nothing but The Smiths, and at gunpoint, they did it.

Now, that guys' a moron. I love Iron Maiden, but I wouldn't even do THAT! Well, thats also because I'm sane,...a little.

Here's last nights winners:

1st round- (technical win- Pianos staff), drink winners- Unholy Schmoo's

2nd round- Team Tallahassee

3rd round- Unholy Schmoo's

Show hype of the week: Well, The National are supporting The Arcade Fire on their tour of the US this and last week, THE FUCKING ARCADE FIRE!! Sadly, it's sold out and you can't go if you haven't already gotten tickets.

Thats awesome and I'm very proud of the boys. But otherwise, in Un-sold out news:

SAT 5/12
THE CHANGES + TAKKA TAKKA + THE END OF THE WORLD at UNION HALL

(the night before, Elk City are playing at Union Hall, make it a two nighter!)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxo

They're paying attention..

2007-05-01T05:26:00.000-07:00

We got a mention on the gothamist.com yesterday, yay for that. Thanks ya'll! Things were a bit rocky last night. Tech difficulties, last minute questions, short films,etc. We made it though, because Miz Dj Shred Savage and I are professionals, right? Right.

Winners:

Round 1: (Technical) The Pianos Staff, (drink winners) Unholy Todd

Round 2 & 3: new comers Air Force One (Nicely done guys!)

I played round 2 with a lovely girl named Lena who was there all on her own. Making new friends is cool.

Tonight is night 2 of Sousalves record release residency at Midway and our friend Debbie Sassivier is opening at 8pm, DO NOT miss this rock goddess! Sousalves at 10pm.

AC/DC is from the devil

2007-04-24T05:36:00.000-07:00

What with the horns and all on Angus, AAAND my determined resolve to screw up any AC/DC question. It must be Satan. Yep. Thanks to Conrad AGAIN for setting me straight about a question that I wrote regarding said Australians/Scots and their contribution to Stephen Kings' "Maximum Overdrive" (not to be confused with Kathleen Turner Overdrive, but thats a story for another day). You'd think being a metalhead in the 80's would solve that, nope.

Here's the winners:

Round 1: Technical- The Piano's Staff, Actual- Glasses Are Cool ( With a "C", I looked)
Round 2: Glasses Are Cool
Round #: The Bunnyslappers

Don't forget tonight, at Midway, Sousalves record release co-starring The Sprinkle Genies at 8:15, my buddy Kris Roebling at 9 and the man himself, Sousalves at 10. Do not miss.

Quote of the night-

Peter: "You know, I'm sober now?"
Me: "Really??"
Peter: "Phfft, no..."

All byyy myyyselllf!!

2007-04-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Great night last night! It was nice to get back to basics one man, one test. Last nights quiz was based in the 90's, which is recent enough to make it a bit more challenging. Which makes those free drinks taste all the better.

Last night winners were:

1st round: Glasses Are Cool

2nd round: The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's

3rd (new comers): Emma Grants

I had trouble with the orgin of the Cardigans (Swiss vs Swedish) in one question. Look, their all blonde and pretty, ok. 'Nuff said. Also, yes, Ms. Shirley Manson sang for ANGELFISH, not Starfish or Jellyfish or Grungefish or whatever I put down. (Thanks for the correction Schmoo's!)

Thanks to all that came out, see ya'll next week!!

Girls, Girls, GIRLS!!

2007-04-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

Fellas, the ladies danced on your corpse last night at Smart-Ass.

We did one round about the food and rock band connection, Dj Shred Savage did a round having to do with movies and wrapped with a great 3rd round if I do say so myself, and I did.

Winner:

1st round: TIE- Pianos Staff & The Cherry Flavored Schmoos
2nd round: The Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
3rd round: One Girl Town (Who by the way, was a single player whose friends invited her and never showed and she went onto win anyway, nice job!)

Tonight at Piano's one of the Schmoo's is throwing a little party with free tequila from Jose Cuervo and three awesome bands. You can go free, just go to http://rollingstone.com/pianos and RSVP.

The triple rock threat!!

2007-04-03T09:29:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all that came out last night to witness the awesomeness that was Smart-Ass! Conrad from the band Takka Takka (whom I noticed has a striking resemblance to Gil Gerard from Buck Rodgers,...well, sorta) started things off with a guest round. Great job, C! Afterwards we introduced my new partner in crime; Dj Shred Savage (aka, the lovely Liv) who also did an awesome guest round. She's a breath of fresh rock kids, and she'll be showin' up with fresh questions and she won't be just turning letter blocks like that useless Vanna White. Bitch.... Jking, we love Vanna.

BTW, in case you are mildly curious, sometimes we have a "technical" win, which means that the winners actually got the most points but were not awarded drinks because of an affiation with Piano's ie: the staff (yes, they compete), or me if I'm competing, as I was last night, and drinks are awarded to the 2nd place winners or drink winners becaue we're REALLY fair, FYI. Here's the winners from last night!

1st round: (Technical win) Glasses Are Cool (Brian Devendorf of The National, Beth Devendorf and Dj Spookypants), drink winners: Cherry Flavored Schmoo's (Gina, Beth and Dan)
2nd round: Cherry Flavored Schmoo's
3rd round: Glasses Are Cool (Brian and Beth with Conrad,...who IS rad.)

Props to Glasses and the Schmoo's as there were about 7 teams in the running.

I'm really going to try to get a MySpace page up today, it's kinda hard because I just moved and I can't figure out these damn Ikea directions (fucking Swede's!), but I will do my best.

Seee ya'll next week!!

Umm,..yo..

2007-03-27T06:08:00.000-07:00

Last night was off tha hook, fa reals tho! Thanks again to Lord Easy for his rock/rap round. It was awesome. Here are the winners from last night, revel in your rock knowledge!

1st Round: The Unholy Trinity- Jesse, Adam, and Chris
2nd round (Rock/rap): Technical win- The Pianos staff, actual- The Unholy Trinity
3rd round: Thechnical win- The Unholy Trinity, winner: Glasses Are Cool (Brian from The National, Conrad from Takka Takka, and Alex from The Forms)

The Unholy Trinity are up and comers, almost and for the most part, sweeping the night, congrats all!!

Ooops, sorries..

2007-03-25T18:03:00.000-07:00

Hey all, ok were back up. Had some logging issues for a couple of weeks but I think we've gotten it sorted.

Tomorrow night, Lord Easy of Karaoke Killed The Cat will be guest hosting on a round of rock and rap trivia, so definately come out for that.

We'll be posting weekly winners as well starting every Tuesday.

ALSO, we got a big article written up about us in the S.I. Advance Weekly, you can read it here

Welcome to The SmartAss trivia blog!!

2007-02-27T09:05:00.000-08:00

We'll be posting all sorts of stuff concerning SmartAss trivia here. SmartAss trivia happens every Monday night at 8pm at Piano's in the Lower East Side of NYC. We do three rounds of 10 questions, winners recieve free beers and shots for all teammates up to three. Come out and join us next week!

Last night was the post Oscars edition, concerning musicians who are actors and vice versa. Chad came from Advance Weekly Entertainment (a Staten Island based entertainment paper) to shoot some photos of the night, and Brian Devendorff (The National) djed. It was awesome. Not that dime store type of awesome either, really awesome. Awesome.

Stay tuned for upcoming news and such, check back often, theres all sorts of stuff in the works!